


civil liberties

by charizona



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, LAWSCHOOL AU, morgan & morgan au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-01-25 14:29:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1652030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charizona/pseuds/charizona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alison Hendrix is failing a class (and almost failing several). When she runs into (quite literally) the student who is teetering at the top of the class, she manages to end up with a tutor, nevermind the fact that Beth Childs is totally hot, totally smart, and t o t a l l y g a y f o r a l i s o n. A fluffy, college/law school au based on tumblr user soccercopping's posts about a Morgan & Morgan au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. animus revertendi

**Author's Note:**

> I tried so, so hard to make this into a one-shot, but it was not working at all. And thus, the multi-chapter fic exists. I'm hoping by posting the first chapter I'm inclined to write the other ones and I'm not sure how long it will be. Thanks for reading and kudos are appreciated!!

Staring at the stapled sheets in her hand, the one with a large _F_ scribbled in at the top, Alison Hendrix begins to cry.

She goes into the bathroom as soon as she leaves the class, shutting herself in one of the stalls before furiously wiping at her eyes. She shouldn’t be this heartbroken, this sad and yet she is, eyes unable to be torn away from from the essay now littered with wet spots. She sniffs loudly, taking a shuddering breath. This is _university_ , she reminds herself. Lawschool. No one cries in the bathrooms and no one should be this irrationally upset over failing an essay that they thought they did well on.

Except she is.

She fumbles in her pocket for her anxiety pills and swallows a small handful, resting her head against the wall of the stall. After a moment, she stuffs the paper (the one she slaved over for _days_ , the one she was going to wave in her mother’s face when she aced it) into her bag and dabs at her eyes.

Thankfully, she’s alone in the bathroom. She stands at the counter and checks her make up, exhaling as she composes herself and makes a mental game plan. Of course, she’s going to rewrite the paper, that much is obvious. There isn’t any other option.

She braves a smile for the mirror, ignoring the way her chest is tight, before turning sharply on her heel to push the door open. Her mouth falls open in horror as someone recoils from being hit.

“Oh, _Jesus_ ,” Alison says before she can stop herself, watching a woman stumble backwards. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I am _so_ sorry.”

The stranger’s hand flashes up to her nose as a sudden rush of blood gushes from it. “Shit,” comes the nasally response as two fingers pinch the bridge of her nose, as her head leans backwards.

“I’m going to, uh, get some napkins.” Alison flails, disappearing back into the bathroom, frantically grabbing a large handful of paper towels. The woman practically runs into her again as Alison is in a rush to get back out there and help, and she gratefully accepts the paper towels when Alison offers them. She hops up onto the counter and her back hits the mirror, hard.

Alison goes back outside to gather the woman’s things, heart thundering in her ears as anxiety grips her, getting even louder when she spots the bloody paper with a circled _A_ in the top margin. And she realizes that the woman looks familiar, then, probably one of the few who sits in the back of Howard’s lectures. But an A? Alison has at most received a B from him and this woman has never even participated in class.

A flame of jealousy burns in her chest as she gathers the rest of the woman’s papers. The thoughts running through her mind are feral, snapping at her confidence before she resolves to just go back in, apologize profusely, and get out.

She pushes open the door to find the woman washing her hands and wiping spots of blood from her face and neck. She grins at Alison. “I don’t think I broke my nose,” she offers as explanation of her condition and yes, Alison can see that this woman will definitely have a nasty bruise.

“I’m so sorry,” Alison says again, hoping that it doesn’t sound as mortified to the woman as it does to herself. “I went to, uh, pick up your things. You dropped them.” She stands as far away as she can, doing her best to ignore the envy crawling up her throat, holding out the papers toward the woman.

“It’s all good,” the stranger says, accepting the papers. “And thanks.” She glances back into the mirror, smile forming around her white fangs. “I’m going to have a wicked bruise.”

Alison mentally kicks herself as her next words bubble up from her throat, coming rapid-fire. Her manners aren’t bad enough for her to just leave manners aren’t bad enough for her to just leave. “At least let me make it up to you? Anything, please, I’ll do anything.”

The woman cocks an eyebrow at her. “I didn’t catch your name?”

“Alison.”

“Relax, Alison. A little blood never hurt anyone. I’m Beth, by the way.” Alison is beginning to think that it’s natural, that grin that is forever glued to Beth’s lips. Happy. “Honestly,” Beth continues, looking back into the mirror, “I should be thanking you. I’ll have to make up all kinds of badass stories for this one.”

Alison can’t help but smile, even if it’s small, even if she’s still so embarrassed by the events transpired in the last ten minutes. “Like what?”

“Like, got into a fight protecting a girl’s honor,” Beth chuckles, dabbing inside of her nose at the small trickle of blood. “I might just tell the truth.” She catches Alison’s eye in the mirror. “Tripped over a pretty girl. Kinda works better if I got her number, though. Concrete evidence, you know?” _Smooth, Beth, flirt with the girl as you’re forming a bruise._

And Alison laughs, not realizing just yet that she’s flirting right back.

“So,” Beth says after a moment, leaning back onto her palms, resting against the counter, “This is kind of the part where you reject the girl you just rammed with a door or you… don’t.”

“Oh,” Alison says, fumbling in her pocket for her phone. “Of course,” she stumbles, “I’ll want to make sure that you’re doing okay.”

“Definitely.” Beth brightens, pulling out her own phone and the two exchange them, putting each other’s numbers in. She catches sight of the time on the phone, grin falling slightly. “Shit, I gotta get going. Thanks for sticking around. I’ll text you because you definitely owe me dinner.”

She’s gone before Alison can say anything, brushing past and outside with that grin.

.,.

Alison considers framing the essay. It was only a matter of time, right? Everyone has that one essay that they flunked so hard and they move on, they let go. They don’t let it sit on their desk, slightly crumpled and stained with tears, and stare at it for what seems like hours.

But the thing is, this essay is her gate to the real world. Away from her parents and into the legal profession because she does not want to listen to her mother. She does not want to hear another thing about Donnie or how great their kids would look because she is so effing tired of everything being about _what mother wants_. She grew up with it and escaped as soon as she could, coming to law school hoping for a way out. And all this essay marks is how much she has failed.

Failed herself, mostly.

She lets her head fall into her hands, thinks about the wine she has in her top shelf.

Her phone, charging on the floor across the room, buzzes.

> **Girl who you totally smashed in the face:** hey, sorry i kinda skipped out. don’t think that i haven’t forgotten about the face thing.

Alison almost laughs out loud at the contact name, changing it to _Beth_ before responding.

> **Alison:** you’re fine. stop being dramatic.
> 
> **Beth:** my face was the only thing i had going for me!
> 
> **Alison:** that’s not true.
> 
> **Beth:** really? you should tell me why over dinner.

Alison grins, sets her phone down for a few minutes to go over some notes.

> **Beth:** what, too soon? face not bruised enough?
> 
> **Alison:** of course not. i’m pretty busy for the time being.

Beth doesn’t respond right away and Alison chews on her lip, taps her pencil on her book, is finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate on anything except her phone, which hasn’t lit up in several minutes. Until it finally does.

> **Beth:** busy? with what? i mean, it’s not like we’re in law school or anything.
> 
> **Alison:** unfortunately, school is the problem.
> 
> **Beth:** anything i can help with?

And it hits her, sitting in the low light of her desk lamp, phone in her hand, Alison realizes that she’s practically becoming friends with what could quite possibly be the girl with the highest grade. Her thumb hovers over the touch screen and she waits a moment, thinking of what to say.

> **Alison:** everything. how about we meet in the library around noon?
> 
> **Beth:** perfect. i’ll bring lunch. 

Alison spends the rest of the night on her computer using her amazing stalking skills acquired in high school, probing the internet (mainly Facebook) for Beth. She starts with campus clubs, scrolling through endless members lists, enrollment in courses, until she finds a few promising sources. She’s on the third facebook page, looking through various profile pictures when she stumbles upon her.

Beth Childs. Profile picture of the same woman who ran into a door earlier, except now her arm is slung around another woman’s shoulders, this one wearing thick glasses. They both have beers in their hands and a tall, black-haired man flanks Beth on her other side.

Except that’s not what Alison is looking at, at least not for more than a second. No, she’s more focused on her name.

Her name is Beth _Childs_ , as in the prodigal daughter of Daniel and Alice Childs of Childs & Childs, a highly esteemed corporate law firm. And suddenly, everything makes sense.

.,.

"So tell me," Alison says as Beth drops a plastic bag of take out onto the table, "Why would married lawyers choose to head a law firm using the same last name?"

“Can’t believe you stalked me on Facebook.”

“I did not _stalk_ ,” Alison protests. “I merely looked you up. So, why Childs & Childs? Because that is honestly ridiculous.” (She doesn’t say that Alice Childs is somewhat of a role model).

"Tell me about it,” Beth agrees, shrugging. “The same reason they named their daughter _Elizabeth_ , I suppose."

Alison pulls out a container from the bag, pushing her open books aside. "And what reason is that?"

"Hell if I know," Beth responds, waggling her eyebrows as she shovels a forkful of noodles into her mouth. "You know," she says through a slightly full mouth, "when I so purposefully ran into that door so you would have a reason to go out with me, I wasn't exactly thinking take out in the campus library."

"I need your help." Alison slides her essay over to the other side of the counter. "I'm failing Howard's class and barely making it in my other ones. You aced yours. You could tutor me?"

Beth leans back into her chair, chewing thoughtfully. "Hm, yeah. Alright. I'll tutor you."

Alison had learned long ago that there wasn't any room for arguing when she played desperate (despite how it wasn't playing, right now. Not really). Alison nods firmly. "Thank you. Really, it means a lot."

"First things first," Beth starts, setting her food aside, "Howard hates title pages. Like, you could've probably gotten a D on this thing if had just been your name and title at the top. You gotta keep the information short and simple in the headings. He thinks title pages are a waste of paper."

It occurs to Alison that she should be taking notes. She pulls out her notebook, flips to a new page.

"Who else do you have?" Beth asks. "We'll start with the actual studying part later but I can give you a few teacher tips right now, if you want."

"Professors Razor, Ward, and Jäger."

"Right,” Beth leans back, tongue probing her teeth for bits of food. “Okay, so Razor likes when you back your shit up. If she can ask 'so what?' to anything in your paper, you gotta support it better. Ward just hates it when people talk during her class. About anything. If you have questions, ask her after the lecture. And Jäger is, like, super pregnant right now so just bring her food or something. She was pregnant for the first time when I had her, too."

Alison's hand scribbles away as her mouth falls open. "She is? She isn’t showing at all."

"Yeah," Beth says, enjoying Alison's eagerness. She digs around in her bag and pulls out a sucker, pops it into her mouth. "That's about all I have right now. I've reached my studying capacity."

Alison gives her a look that she knows she's going to like every time she sees it. It's a glare, but it's cute, in a way. An entirely distracting way. Beth clears her throat. "So, uh, what's the dream for you? Also, now that you know my secret identity, it’s only fair that I know yours."

"Alison Hendrix, daughter of a housewife and a divorce lawyer," Alison supplies, chewing on the tip of her pen.

"Let me guess," Beth smirks, leaning forward, "You grew up in Suburbia."

"It was quite comfy, mind you," Alison continues as Beth laughs. Her gaze drops to the sucker in and out of Beth's mouth, she stares for a moment and feels the need to defend herself when Beth catches her, grinning around the stick. "My boyfriend lived two houses away from me since before I can remember."

"Boyfriend?" And here Beth could _swear_ that Alison had been flirting.

Alison hums. "Yes, although it's only because my mother is absolutely crazy about him."

"Alison, how old are you?"

The question throws Alison off. "23?"

"You are 23. You're definitely past the point of having to date someone just because your mother tells you to."

"It's not like th-" Alison trails off when Beth looks at her meaningfully. "Okay," she sighs, "You're right.” She folds her hands in her lap. “I’ll move on when I meet someone better.”

“I can accept that,” Beth tells her. “So, the dream?”

“Something corporate, probably. I want kids someday, too. Yours?”

“Corporate,” Beth repeats. “Trust me, something like that isn’t too good for kids. Speaking from experience.” She chews on her lip a moment. “I think my parents want me to take over when I’m old enough, maybe with one of my brothers.”

To Alison, that sounds _lovely_. The opportunity, the job, the independence. “Is it not what you want?”

Beth’s smile kind of falls, and she lets her eyes fall to her hands as she messes with her nails a bit. “Yeah, I mean, I do,” she starts. “I don’t know. It just seems super boring.” She coughs, smile returning. “Enough about me. When do you want to study again?”

Alison pulls out a very pink calendar, resting it out in front of her as she flips the pages. Beth can’t help but just watch her ( _you are so gay, Childs_ ), as she scribbles with a red pen between pink lines, as Alison scans the next couple of weeks that outline her class schedule. “Do wednesdays work for you?” she asks, looking up (Beth doesn’t notice that her bangs are slightly off kilter, no, of course not - she doesn’t think that it’s entirely way too cute, either). “Beth?”

“Oh, um, yeah. Wednesdays work fine. Here or…?”

“I think our apartments would work better,” Alison says slowly, judging Beth’s reactions. “I don’t really like the looks the librarians are giving us for bringing food in here.”

“There are definitely no rules against food in the library,” Beth tells her, crossing her arms against her chest. “I checked.”

“Okay,” Alison laughs. “I’ll text you my address. Oh, and I have a roommate that is a little eccentric, but don’t worry about him.”

“Tell me about it. Mine’s in environmental law with a girlfriend in France, aka she stays up until the asscrack of dawn. What’s yours?”

“A gay man with a delinquent sister that camps out on our couch almost every night,” Alison supplies as Beth laughs.

“Wow, okay. You win.” Beth’s chuckles fade and Alison smiles at her while she smiles right back. “I look forward to next wednesday.”

“Me, too.”

****  
  
  



	2. cui bono

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both of them are finding it increasingly difficult to focus on anything but each other. And both of them enlist their respective roommates' help, but they're not all that... helpful.

Wednesdays are slowly becoming Alison’s favorite day.

After the second study session, Beth and Alison start hanging out whenever they have free time, wednesday nights the only night completely devoted to studying. Other times, they catch lunch after Howard’s Legal Writing class and Alison starts seeing Beth all over places she hadn’t noticed previously. The library, strolling through the aisles with armfuls of books. The gym, soaked with sweat and running on the treadmill since before Alison arrived and long after Alison left. And her apartment, sitting on the couch with a bottle of wine and smiling.

That’s where she is now, joking halfheartedly about the shirt that her professor was wearing. She bursts into laughter, puts the wine bottle down onto the coffee table before clutching her stomach. Alison sips and laughs, just as Felix Dawkins walks into the apartment. It takes her a moment to contain herself.

She coughs. “Beth, this is my roommate, Felix. Felix, this is Beth.”

“Hiya,” Beth says through a hiccup, holding in her laughter.

“Hello,” Felix says slowly, sending a confused look toward Alison. She brushes it off, shrugging as Beth loses it, burrowing herself in their couch, and Felix disappears into his room.

“I like him,” Beth says suddenly and it only takes a second for Alison to realize that Beth might not be in the safest state to drive home. “Where’s his homeless sister?”

“I don’t know,” Alison responds, chuckling. She stands, pulls on Beth’s arm. “Come on, it’s almost midnight. You need to get home.”

“I’m drunk,” Beth says plainly, stumbling onto her feet. “On wine, which rarely happens.” She leans heavily against Alison until the smaller woman deposits her onto a bar stool.

“I’ll be right back,” Alison breathes, almost into Beth’s ear without realizing it. The alcohol blurs Beth’s senses and she leans into the sensation of breath, wants to lean into Alison. Has the sudden urge to kiss, to hold, but chokes it back down as she watches Alison go down the hallway. She somehow makes her way off of the stool and back to the bottle of wine, not even bothering with a glass. She might as well be drunk as she pines after the straight girl.

Alison pokes her head into Felix’s room, finds him laying in bed with his laptop on his chest. He pulls out his headphones and looks at her expectantly.

“Are you going to be home in an hour?” she asks. “I’m going to walk Beth home.”

“Yeah,” he affirms and she’s about to leave when, "Might want to go and change your underwear, first.”

“Excuse me?”

He grins. “You heard me. I’m willing to bet that you could _drown someone_ in your undies right now.” He laughs as she vacates quickly, and she can hear it through the door as she leans against it. She doesn’t let herself think about it, grabbing her shoes, and ignoring the thoughts swirling in her head. Beth is still sitting next to the counter when she comes back into the living room, tapping idly on the edge of her chair. Alison beckons her and she follows out the door, down the stairs, and out the door.

The walk itself is uneventful. Beth stumbles a few times and is unaware of Alison’s very sobering crisis. When she grasps Alison’s arm for support, she doesn’t notice the way Alison flinches, the way she looks much like a deer in the headlights. No, in her inebriated state, all Beth notices is the heat of Alison’s body so close to her own and the way the wet streets reflect the light.

It takes them a while to find it, mainly because she’s only ever been there once and Beth is conveniently not really inclined to be giving out directions. And, the icing on the cake, Beth can’t remember where the hidden key is. The two of them sit on the stairs and Beth isn’t trying to lean on Alison, but she does anyway, swaying slightly. She hums under her breath and Alison lets out a low chuckle.

“You’re a very calm drunk,” Alison points out.

“It’s one of my saving graces,” Beth explains, her tongue feeling too heavy. “I don’t do stupid shit.”

Alison turns her head, smiling. She’s used to the small profanities that come out of Beth’s mouth, used to the way she talks. Nevermind the fact that she still cringes when Felix and his sister use such awful language.

“What qualifies as stupid?” Alison asks because she’s trying to think of anything besides the way Beth feels leaning against her, the way Beth looks kissable in the low light, or the way that Beth’s pinky finger is caught on the fabric of Alison’s jeans. Felix’s words are echoing in her mind and _she’s not gay_ and she wish Beth would stop blurring the line between friends and _girl_ friends.

“Mmm, getting shitfaced for one. I’ve never been one for it.”

“This doesn’t count as, uh, shitfaced?”

Beth laughs, too loud and throatier than normal. “Not in my book.” She tilts her head up and Alison tries to very hard not to meet her gaze, but does in the end. “You should swear more. It’s cute.”

Alison coughs, rolling her shoulders making Beth sit up on her own. “What are we waiting for again?”

“My roommate,” Beth responds. “Usually, she goes up to the roof to smoke. She’ll be back down soon.”

Alison nods and Beth looks at her. She doesn’t really have the decency not to stare at this point and she can tell that Alison can feel it. The other woman blinks and faces forward stubbornly, her shoulders tense.

“Alison,” Beth whispers. “Are you okay?”

It’s not what Alison is expecting and she angles toward Beth in question, immediately finding out that she is way too close for that. Inches away. From Beth’s lips. Oh God. For Beth, it’s completely unexpected and sobering, the way she can smell the wine on Alison’s breath, the way she knows Alison can smell the thick scent on her own. She can’t quite bring herself to go that last inch, though, mostly because drinking makes her lose her confidence, drinking makes her shy, makes her think about the things she doesn’t want to think about. Like the (supposedly) straight girl who’s giving her bedroom eyes. Who’s leaning in. Whose lips are -

The door of Beth’s apartment opens and Alison recoils like she’s been slapped. Beth waves at the person in the doorway. “Uh, hey Cosima. I thought you were on the roof. I knocked for a bit.”

“Sorry, I was on the phone with Delphine.” She grins at Alison. “Hey, I’m Cosima.”

“Alison,” the smaller woman replies weakly.

Beth stands up, rubbing the back of her neck. “I’ll see you in class, Alison.”

“Bye.” Alison watches the door shut and collapses against the wall, trying to sort out the last few minutes. She’d wanted to kiss Beth, she’d wanted Beth to kiss her. _No, I’m not gay._ Was she? She used to catch herself staring at Aynsley Norris, her childhood best friend, in the locker room or whenever they had a sleepover. Did that mean?

“No,” she says out loud, standing and walking down the hallway. She makes it home and goes straight to her room, shedding her clothes and curling up in bed. No, she’d had sex with Chad weeks ago. With Donnie, she hadn’t for a while, mainly because he was disgusting, but that didn’t mean that she was gay…

She closes her eyes, thinks of Chad’s lips, him saying her name, and her hand drifts to her breast, her breath quickens. She thinks of him and she thinks of Beth, the latter sending a thrill through her stomach. Beth groaning her name, Beth underneath her, _Beth_.

And her hand drifts down, below her waistband.

She comes with Beth’s name on her lips, imagining that they’re Beth’s fingers inside of her.

 

.,.

 

Before Howard’s lecture, Alison finds Beth snoozing lightly next to the seat in the front where Alison usually sits. She’s leaning back, head tilted to rest on the back of the seat, sunglasses perched recklessly on the bridge of her nose. Alison sits down and readies herself for class, wondering if Beth even remembers what happened last night (or what didn’t happen) as she pulls out her notebooks. She feels like she’s stained with what she did last night in the dark of her room, that if Beth opened her eyes she’d know that Alison had laid in her bed, mortified, afterwards.

That Alison wants to know what Beth’s lips actually feel like.

Howard walks into the lecture and Alison shakes Beth’s shoulder, fighting a grin as the woman jolts upright in her chair. Beth adjusts her glasses, righting them, and shoots a crooked smirk toward her friend, acting like she was interested in Howard’s opening the entire time.

 

.,.

 

“God, you’re such a gunner,” Beth tells her as they walk out of class together.

“I am not!” Alison squeaks, hitting Beth lightly on the arm. A gunner. Is this high school? She’s not a _teacher’s pet_.

“You totally are. Quite frankly, I’m embarrassed to be seen with you,” Beth tells her matter-of-factly. “And I am _never_ sitting in the front row again, fuck, I was practically soaked by Howard’s spit.”

“You learn more in the front,” Alison mutters, leading the way down the hallway.

“Mm, yeah, but I don’t need to be wet to know how to write a contract.”

Alison doesn’t respond, only quietly walking, stubbornly keeping her mouth shut. It’s only when she spots someone, someone she only sort of recognizes when… Oh, _f - fishsticks_. She turns around, almost causing Beth to run into her.

“Wha - Alison?” Alison grabs her friend’s arms and pushes her into the nearest door, which happens to be an empty classroom. They hide behind the door, Beth’s back against the wall and Alison’s hands gripping her upper arms, holding their breath as a group of guys walk past outside. After they’re gone, Alison’s grip considerably lessens and she breathes a sigh of relief, her forehead falling against Beth’s shoulder.

“Are you going to tell me what this is about?” Beth whispers, hoping that Alison can’t hear her erratic heartbeat.

“A guy I slept with,” Alison says after a moment. “A month ago. He’s my friend’s boyfriend.”

“Wow,” Beth breathes, stiff as a board, as Alison’s head rolls to the side, looking out the small window in the door. “I think it’s safe to go out,” Beth points out and Alison stands upright, nodding.

And Beth is close, too close, the static in the air similar to the static of that night where there had been alcohol buzzing in her veins but here, right now, there is nothing. Nothing holding her back, nothing to fall back on (to blame, when it becomes a mistake), and nothing preventing Alison from. Closing the distance.

“Yeah,” Alison says, taking a huge step backwards. Beth is nodding, swallowing uncomfortably, opening the door and leaving a space for Alison to go through it. Alison ducks under her arm and licks her lips when she’s not facing Beth, the other woman following after her dumbly. “I just forgot,” Alison continues over her shoulder, “I promised a friend that I’d, um, help her with her community theater role. I should, get on that.”

Alison finally turns around, meeting Beth’s half-hearted gaze, watches Beth nods. “Yeah, sounds good. I was going to cop out of lunch anyway.”

“See you, then,” Alison says quietly.

“I’ll, um, call you.”

 

.,.

 

“Felix, please be home.” Alison lets her forehead fall against her door (she cannot believe that she forgot her key _again_ ). “Felix, please.”

She stumbles slightly when the door finally opens - she hadn’t been expecting it, not without the telltale “I’m coming!” that Felix usually saves just for Alison - and she’s greeted by one Sarah Manning, looking very tired and very, very hungover. Sarah looks her up and down, a sorry sight, she’s sure, and snorts. “Jesus, what dragged you home.”

“Nice to see you, too,” Alison says lightly, beelining straight for the cabinet where she keeps the hard stuff. She doesn’t think about the fact that it’s two in the afternoon. “Where’s Felix? I need to talk to him about something.”

Sarah flops onto the couch and scratches a few fingers through her unruly hair. “I‘ve got no bloody idea.”

“Helpful, as well, thank you.”

“Mhm, what’d ya need to talk to ‘im about?”

“Nothing that concerns you.” Alison pours out a glass and downs about half of it, breathes in the familiar burn in the back of her throat. “I doubt you could even answer, so.”

“Try me.”

“It has to do with his… _orientation_.”

Sarah laughs, loud and utterly obnoxious, Alison thinks. “I’m not exactly straight as a board either, Princess.”

Alison’s jaw feels like it drops to the ground, the way it falls. She feels like she needs to ( _close your mouth_ , her mother’s voice echoes in her head) gather it up, sew it closed. Felix walks in then, the door barely rattling with the key.

“Oi, Fee, your roommate here needs some not-straight advice.”

Felix practically lights up, grinning. “That Beth girl?”

And Alison gulps the rest of her drink, hurriedly, desperately, because this is going to be a long night.

 

.,.

 

“Seriously, Cos, I’m in deep shit.”

“Deep shit,” Cosima repeats into the phone, her foot poking Beth’s. There’s static on the other line as Delphine rattles something back, but Beth can’t make sense of it. “No, more like, totally screwed. Wait, bad analogy. Uh…”

“Fell for a straight girl and now she keeps acting so _not straight_ and it’s fucking hell,” Beth supplies, gaze tracing over the goddamn stars Cosima insisted putting on her ceiling. It reminds her of her own room when she was, like, six. ( _Jesus Christ, Cosima_ ).

“Did you get that?” Cosima breathes after a moment. “Mhm, yeah. Me, too.” She tilts her head toward Beth, shifting the bed. “Delphine says that you should go for it. Says, and I quote, ‘it worked well enough for us, oui?’”

“Your accent is horrible,” Beth grumbles, snatching the phone out of Cosima’s hand. “How can you butcher one word?” Into the phone, she mumbles, “Je t’en prie, Delphine.”

The phone is gone a moment later, before she can hear Delphine’s reply and Cosima is snapping, “Show off.”

“Put it on speaker,” Beth suggests, laying her arms over her head.

“You’re on speaker,” Cosima tells Delphine, laying the phone down between them. “So, what should she do?”

“I suggest,” Delphine says, from miles and miles across the ocean, “that you, uh, make a move. I think that’s the right expression. Yes, you should tell her how you feel or just kiss her, better yet.”

“And if she slaps me and calls me disgusting?”

Cosima laughs, the sound rattling in her chest. “If that happens, you still got us.”

“Oui.”

“Great,” Beth sighs. “Eternal third wheel.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	3. ex proprio motu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are so gay. (Can you tell that I've given up on chapter summaries).
> 
> Also, please listen to this chapter with the song "So Into You" by Wilhelm Tell Me. It's required.

Beth avoids Alison for the rest of the week. She doesn’t answer her calls, reply to her texts, or even respond to Alison’s attempt at Facebook chat when she was so clearly online. And Alison is infuriated, mostly because she has a test coming up (not to mention other things, like the mock trial, end of semester finals, so many things that Alison would rather _not think about right now_ ) so regardless of the fact that the only thing she can think about in Beth’s presence is what Beth’s lips might feel like, she needs help or she’s going to fail.

Come wednesday, Beth finally answers, telling Alison in short, clipped sentences that her roommate needs her for something.

Alison comes very close to telling Beth that she needs her, but stops herself, ending the conversation with a small, “Okay,” before hanging up. She flops backwards into the cushion of her pillows on her bed, just as Felix arrives with nail polish.

“She has other plans,” Alison groans, burying her face into a pillow.

“I thought you guys always did your thing on wednesdays?” Felix sits in the chair close to her bed, starts getting his nails ready. “Do you want me to do yours, too?”

“Of course,” she answers, “and yes, I don’t know why she made other plans.”

“Maybe she’s got a big gay crush on you,” Felix suggests, taking Alison’s hand when she offers it.

Alison pouts, lower lip jutting out as she watches Felix’s hands. “I thought that if you liked someone, you’d _want_ to spend time with them. Not go the opposite direction when you see them in the hallway.”

Felix stops, eyebrows knitting together. “She did that?”

Nodding, Alison lets out a long, sad breath. The pull on her nails and the ice feeling of the polish is helping her relax. Somewhat. She can’t stop thinking about the wide eyed look she’d received when Beth had spotted her in the hallway and how she’d turned and walked right back where she’d come from.

“I always find it better to confront head on,” Felix is saying, almost done with the first coat of polish. “It makes the sex way better if you’ve yelled a bit first.”

“Or it gets you a restraining order and you drop out of law school and become a waitress at a diner and your mother is forever disappointed in you and your father doesn’t say anything to you when you come home for Christmas.” She sucks in air, laughs pitifully.

“Or… that, I suppose,” Felix says slowly. She winces as he pulls at a hangnail on her other hand. “But, darling, you’ll never know if you don’t try. Besides, if the whole sleeping together bit doesn’t work out, you’re friends first. And she promised to tutor you.” He shrugs. “I’ve slept with some law school guys. I could hook you up.”

“I appreciate it,” she sighs and she’s telling the truth. She realizes that it’s times like these that make you realize who your real friends are. She even likes Sarah, in all her punk rock glory, and doesn’t mind when they share a glass of wine late into the night. But Beth… she doesn’t have the slightest clue how to…

She moves her free hand to cover her face and Felix grabs her wrist in a vice-grip. “I am _not_ redoing this one, love.”

She nods, sniffs and thinks of a plan.

 

.,.

 

Beth wants to throw up. She had lied to Alison, actually didn’t have anything to do but couldn’t come up with a better excuse than _if I see you right now I’m going to kiss you_. She thinks that someday karma will come and kick her in the ass for this, as she grabs her keys to go buy some alcohol. She opens the door and finds Alison standing there with her fist poised in the air.

Beth freezes. Alison’s hand slowly falls down to her side.

It’s Alison who speaks first. “I thought you weren’t going to be home.”

“Uh,” Beth says after a moment because she can tell that Alison has been crying. Not a good sign. “If you thought I wasn’t home, why are you here?” It comes out hard, like ice.

“No,” Alison snaps, “No, you do not get to turn this around on me. You have been ignoring me and I have felt like… like… shit because of it.”

“Ali -”

“No! I am going to fail this test if you don’t help me. And I don’t know if you were lying or - or just trying to get rid of me, but I need your help, regardless. So, if you hate me tell me now and I’ll find someone else.” She braces herself, shoulders straight and chin high because she’ll be damned if she lets Beth Childs see her cry.

“I don’t hate you,” Beth says quietly. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk. And I lied. So, we can study if you want. Cosima’s got plans or something.”

“Okay,” Alison affirms, and admittedly, the conversation wasn’t necessarily going the way she had expected. “Okay, yes. I have my things with me. The test is over the Anderson vs Wagner case and we’re expected to know everything about it and have a way to defend both sides.”

“Okay,” Beth echoes, letting Alison in and trying not to breathe Alison’s scent (something like cinnamon, but warmer, sweeter) (or something like scotch tape). They settle on the couch and Alison spreads out the casefile around them. They work quietly as Alison fills out her notes and Beth reads a few points, just to get herself familiar with the material. She’d had this class last semester, remembered this case only vaguely.

"So," she opens, lifting a page outlining the basic case, "who's at fault here?"

And Alison thinks she's talking about their disagreement, not the case. She stumbles and can't find the right thing to say.

"Is it Wagner," Beth continues slowly, urging her along because if that's difficult for Alison then they have a lot of work to do, "or is this Anderson guy in the wrong."

_Oh_. "Oh, um," Alison's eyebrows knit together. "Aren't I supposed to be an objective third party?"

"Good. That was a trick question. Ward always pulls shit like that." Beth shuffles the papers in front of her, takes Alison's notes from her. "Alright, what is Wagner being accused of?"

"It's a, um." Alison's fingers tap incessantly on her thigh as she thinks, eyes falling shut. Beth spots an eyelash on her cheek, wants to brush it away before she thinks better of it, instead curling her fingers around the sheets in her hand. "He's being sued for unlawful treatment of a client. Anderson is the client."

"And did he? Is it a make or break case?"

"Yes," Alison answers automatically. "From the files, it seems that Anderson is just trying to get some money out of the whole thing."

"How would you defend? Witnesses?"

"Character witnesses, mostly." She smiles, proud of herself. The tip of a pen is in the corner of Beth's mouth when she looks at the other woman and suddenly she's reminded of Felix and _It makes the sex way better if you've yelled a bit first._

Beth chuckles a bit when she catches Alison staring, both of them looking down at their respective notes. "Why were you looking at me like that?" She's suddenly a bit shy like _wow, Childs, smooth_.

"No reason." Stiff words, back, Alison.

"I'm sure."

Slowly, methodically, Alison sets the papers in her lap on the floor. She turns, mutters a quiet, "Beth," and watches as the other girl looks up.

Just one. An experiment.

1-2-3.

"Alison, what are you -" _doing_. The word rings in her mind, wants to be verbalized, but her mouth is occupied with... other things at the moment.

And Alison, when she made the decision to kiss Beth (short and quick and small and chaste and) isn't expecting Beth to kiss back (and well, she's wondering if this is the best case scenario), isn't expecting Beth's lips to be warm and pliable against her own. It's shuddering, the burn she feels in her stomach, the burn where her fingers curl around Beth's jaw, the _fire_ that licks like Beth's _tongue_.

Beth's hands fist into her shirt and she's toppling into Beth's lap as the woman tugs. Her hands move down Alison's arms, along the hem of Alison's shirt, into the back pockets of Alison's jeans when the smaller woman maneuvers herself so she's straddling Beth's legs.

Alison's fingers are at the base of Beth's neck, her scalp, punctuated with a bruising kiss as she holds Beth as hard as she can. Similar to the way she screws her eyes shut.

Alison breaks the kiss, her hips pressing down and in, leans her forehead against Beth's and takes a moment to breathe.

"What are we doing," she gasps, the words coming out breathless. She doesn't want Beth to answer, not really. She wants Beth to kiss her this time, wants to feel the pressure of Beth's hands on her ass again. Anything but words.

Beth is at a loss for words, having not expected anything of this. "Just two people," she suggests (and Alison can feel her breath on her own lips; she wants to swallow it up), "who are making out. Possibly more."

"More what." It's not a question, it's a begging for explanation. Like Beth has the answers to why Alison kissed her.

"More than making out."

Alison nods, like she's assuring herself that this _is_ the best course of action. She takes a moment before she's kissing Beth again, full and open and desperate.

Somehow, they end up on the floor, Alison between Beth and the carpet.

And Alison rolls against her, hips and torso flush on Beth's, and Beth has to fight the urge to groan. It's Alison who grabs Beth's hand and presses it on her own breast, holding it there until Beth reads that as permission. She moves her palm slowly, squeezing as her lips find Alison's collarbone. She takes a moment to go under Alison's shirt and unclasp her bra, pulling it to the side for better access. The way Alison moans at that moment is something Beth is sure she'll never forget.

It's Alison, impatient, needy Alison, who grabs Beth's hand and pushes it under her waistband into sinking heat.

And it's Alison who reaches climax soundlessly (well, scratch that, she makes a small sound, caught in the back of her throat) (to Beth, it sounds like a dam breaking) (drowning in sensation) in the living room of Beth's apartment.

But it's at Beth's hand that she comes undone, unraveling and unthinking in a way that she knows she'll regret this is in the morning.

 

.,.

 

Alison leaves.

She slips out because Beth doesn't say anything to stop her and leaves, tries to pretend that she didn't just throw a rock into an impending avalanche. She doesn't know what to think when she's walking home (can't stop thinking about Beth's lips on her neck, Beth's hand between her thighs) and when she slips into her apartment, she's grateful that Felix isn't home.

Grateful because he would be able to smell the sex on her and she's not quite ready to admit that's what happened.

She takes a shower and let's her hands linger on her own breasts, remembers Beth's gentleness. Washes her hair with fingers that touched Beth's skin, that left bruises in Beth's shoulder. She washes every last trace of Beth from her skin and hopes it's being cleansed from her mind, too.

She's desperate in her ignoring of the way she feels; the way she so vividly remembers Beth's fingers inside of her, the way Beth hadn't pushed her, no, she was the one who pushed.

Alison falls asleep and doesn't think about exams or Felix, but instead thinks Beth's laugh, Beth's smirk.

And that may be the worst part about all of this.

 

.,.

 

Alison leaves.

And Beth flops over onto her back, stares at the dust mites in the air that catch the light, and breathes, "Fuck."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! :)  
> Also, sorry this chapter is shorter. The next one will be longer (and happier), I promise!


	4. novus actus interveniens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naked study sessions. Um.

The air, thick with the promise of rain, burns in Beth’s chest as her feet hit the pavement, the echo of wet cement rocketing off the buildings around her.

The school campus is huge, which is one of the reasons she likes it. Her apartment building is on the far side of it, near the community complex. She’d tried getting into the track almost day one and had learned that it’s reserved for students who participated in sports, which she doesn’t do (not because _she_ didn’t want to… but because her _parents_ didn’t want her to). So she was left with the campus sidewalks, the city streets, the sounds of cars and rain and her own thoughts.

Thoughts that seems to be consisting of a certain Alison Hendrix as of late.

Beth hates herself for falling so hard (hates the fact that she is admitting that she has fallen), hates that she let what was supposed to be a friendship get screwed up. And sure, she had noticed Alison in class before, always in the front, bangs always perfectly aligned, and always attentively taking notes.

Alison Hendrix was the daughter that Beth’s parents always wanted. The daughter that would gladly take over the family law firm when the time came, the daughter that Beth just isn’t.

Beth pushes herself harder, faster, controlling her breathing the way her track coach in high school told her to.

In, clear your mind, focus on the objective, the finish line.

Out, push yourself, accomplish something, don’t let distractions in.

Except Alison isn’t a distraction. Since she’s started helping Alison, she’s felt her life right itself in a way, she’s been more inclined to try harder in school. And she actually called her parents the other night. For the first time this semester. Alison is forcing her outside of herself, from closing in. Alison, sweet and idiotic Alison, has become something of a glue that holds Beth together.

And she doesn’t want to lose that.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” a loud, intercommed voice interrupts her internal monologue, “I’m going to need you to stop, please.”

She whips around, recognizing the voice. Watches a cop car pull up onto the curb, a familiar face behind the wheel. “Art?” She starts walking toward him.

“Hands on the car,” the intercom says and she can see him smirking behind the microphone. She does as he says, waiting as he gets out, clicking his handcuffs.

“If this is your attempt to feel me up, don’t forget that I totally kicked your ass in high school,” Beth says flippantly, turning around and leaning on the hood of the car.

He returns the handcuffs to his belt, smirking. He looks spiffy in his crisp, blue uniform, and Beth remembers how it’d been the two of them in high school, partners, promising to continue into their adult lives. It’d been her that had backed out when her parents had given her basically an all-access pass to the law school they both had attended. She couldn’t say no, couldn’t bear to see the disappointment etched into her parents’ faces (couldn’t bear to prove to her father for the millionth time that she wasn’t as good as a son).

So she’d gone to law school and he’d joined the academy and they hadn’t spoken since.

“Relax, Childs. No one wants your scrawny ass anyways. C’mere.” He opens his arms and she falls into them, hugging for a brief moment, before pulling back. “Been a while,” he comments. “Still see you’re killing yourself with distance.”

“A few years,” she agrees. “And yeah, sorry if you couldn’t keep up with my 5k. See you’re riding green.”

“Mhm, yeah. My ride along had a lunch and gave me the keys for the first time, thought I’d go for a drive.”

“Wow, man. You did it.” She tries her hardest to keep the jealousy from her voice. This is something she hasn’t thought about for a long, long time.

“Couldn’t have without your help.” He comes to sit next to her on the hood.

“Did you just admit that you needed me?”

“Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Dipshit,” she laughs, bumping his shoulder. “So, any new girlfriend?”

“No, still with Sheri," he grins, pausing thoughtfully. "How's Paul?"

And she should've guessed this was coming. "Paul's some big shot. Kind of left me in the dust. He only liked the name, though. The fame of dating a _Childs_." Her voice is bitter, nonstalgic; she hasn't let herself think about Paul in a long time, definitley not lately, not with... Well. She doesn't want to think about that, either.

She coughs. "So that's over and done with."

"Shit," Art breathes. "I never liked him, anyway. Though I do take back my comment about your scrawny ass because you clearly need to be let easy -"

"Shut up," she remarks, grinning. She's laughing and oh man, she's missed this, missed him. "I'd still be able to lap you if we went to my apartment and back."

"Considering the fact that I have no clue where you live, probably, yeah. Another time, Childs. I'll drive you home." She nods, tells him the directions and rides in silence. She hadn't realized she'd come so far, considering this as the campus buildings and complexes zoom past. The rain pounds against the windshield harder and when Art starts speaking again, he has to raise his voice. "You should try to get in with the District Attorney's office," he's saying. "God knows we need some support from over there."

She opens her mouth to respond, something about how her parents would probably kill her, before it dies in her throat as Art pulls up to her flat.

Sitting on the doorstep, soaked from head to toe, is Alison, pink headband and wet jeans in all.

Art looks at her. "Someone you know?"

"Yeah," she says slowly, getting out. She leans back in the door, even as Art protests that she's getting his seat wet. "Thanks. I'll call you next time I stumble upon a dead body."

"Better be sooner than that," he snaps. "Now get out of here."

She stands on the opposite side of the street as the car drives away, watches Alison stand up and every scenario goes through her mind. Alison saying _Beth, you're really nice and all but_ , saying _it's not you, it's me_ , saying _I'm not into girls_.

And what Alison actually says, when Beth crosses the street and is within speaking distance, is:

"I'm sorry I left."

And Beth hadn't prepared a response to _this_ in the half minute it took for her to get across the street, so she doesn't say a word.

Alison keeps talking, rambles more like. "I'm sorry that I probably freaked you out, I'm sorry that I'm confused about this whole thing, that I screwed up what we had by kissing you -"

Beth, never having been good with words, kisses her, hopes that her lips are saying that Alison's forgiven, that she didn't screw up anything.

She smiles into it and wraps her arms around Alison's waist, lifts her up onto her toes, and kisses her. Alison's wet from the rain, shivering from the rain, and Beth is relieved. Her lips slide to Alison's cheek, press a sloppy kiss there before she nuzzles her face into Alison's neck.

The rain turns into a downpour and Beth feels Alison laugh against her, feels it well inside of her chest, feels the shaking of Alison's body.

"Come inside," she says, close to Alison's ear.

"You might have to let go of me."

Beth laughs. "Such a smartass." She leads the way to her apartment, up the stairs. She digs into her pocket, shows Alison the key when she finds it. "Didn't forget my key this time."

Alison shivers and nods, euphoric. Grabs Beth's shoulder and tugs her around, pressing her against the closed door and fists pulling on her t-shirt. Her lips are frantic, a little cold, and she's all teeth as she captures Beth's bottom lip.

Her hips press into Beth's and Beth breathes against her lips, "You're so _wet_."

Alison giggles, loud in the darkened hallway. Her hands are still tightly wound in Beth's shirt and she can't stop the laughter bubbling in her chest.

Beth realizes her choice in wording and laughs, too. "Not, uh, _that way_."

"Just unlock the door, please."

"Now's when _you_ might have to let go of _me_."

Alison does, takes a few steps back as Beth shoots her a grin before sliding the key into the lock. She pushes on the door, stands out of the way and waves Alison in.

"Is your roommate, uh, Cosima, is it? Is she home?"

"Yes," Beth deadpans, gesturing to the thoroughly dark apartment. "Hey, Cos!" she yells before lowering her voice. "She usually likes to keep the place dark." After a moment's silence, as she watches Alison's lips curl into a grin. "I'm totally fucking with you."

Alison shakes her head, shivers again and Beth's reminded of that fact that she must be freezing.

"Let's get you out of those," she murmurs, stepping forward and tugging at the hem of Alison's soaked shirt. Alison lets her tug it over her head, raising her arms. By the time Beth's folded her shirt and turned back around, Alison's jeans are pooled on the floor and she's looking at Beth and she's taking a step toward her.

And sure, Beth saw Alison like this once before, but it had been rushed. Alison hadn't spent any time in just her underwear; she'd gone from clothed to not clothed _pretty_ quickly in Beth's memory and oh _man_. Alison in matching pink underwear, highly predictable, laughably so, almost, but not when she's one step away from Beth, hair half dry and frizzy, curly (totally cute), and Beth can clearly see the bruise on her collarbone from a few nights ago.

No, no one is laughing when Alison stands on her toes to kiss Beth, no one is laughing when her almost bare hips grind into Beth's, and no one is laughing when Beth's hands drift past hips and pull against Alison's ass, tugging her impossibly closer.

She surprises herself when she lifts Alison up, when she leans back against the wall as Alison's legs tighten around her waist. Alison's fingers are tight on her jaw, lips frantic on her lips, cheek, forehead.

"Not the floor this time," Alison gasps, as Beth flips them around, holds Alison up against the wall.

"How about the wall," Beth suggests breathlessly before working at giving Alison another bruise just behind her ear.

Alison shakes her head and pulls her up to kiss her. When they part, she says, "Take me to bed," and that's all Beth needs.

In the next moment three things happen:

One, Beth almost trips on a pair of shoes in the doorway, almost drops Alison and the girl lets out the _girliest_ yelp Beth has ever heard.

Two, as Beth laughs, Alison swallows the sound up with a kiss and Beth almost drops her again, having to use the wall to support her.

And three, Beth drops Alison for real this time, although she drops her onto the bed, with a bounce, before following after quite quickly. Their lips aren't apart for more than a few seconds.

Beth, legs on either side of Alison's waist, pulls her shirt over her head, discarding it across the room as Alison sits up to meet her. Their breathing is the only sound in the room, besides the slight creak of the bed. Their noses brush and everything slows down. Alison's hands rest against Beth's stomach, fingers digging into the muscle slightly and she just looks over Beth up and down before finally meeting her eyes.

She tilts her head and Beth is suddenly frozen as Alison inches closer. Her kiss is electric, awaking something inside of Beth that makes her lips move harder, tongue forcing Alison's lips apart. Alison's hands slide to grip her waist, around to the base of her spine.

Beth's hand moves from Alison's shoulders to her back, fumbling for a moment with the clasp on Alison's bra. She lets it fall from Alison's shoulders before she cups the other girl's cheeks, one hand moving down to palm Alison's breasts. Alison's nails scratch inches in Beth's thigh as she pulls away from the kiss, breathing hard.

Beth adjusts on top of her and Alison lets her forehead fall against Beth's shoulder as she slips a hand into Beth's running shorts. She's not allowing herself to overthink, overanalyze, just _do_. She doesn't let it trip her up when her heart suddenly starts pounding. And when her fingers find slick heat, already so, so gone, and when Beth makes an audible sound in her ear, she finds the courage to keep going. She slides two fingers in and Beth almost hisses, let's out a stuff breath as her hips roll. She does most of the work, Alison occasionally curling her fingers and tugging Beth closer. Soon, Beth is gripping the back of her neck and they're kissing again as low moans grow in Beth's throat and Alison can feel her own need rising with every grind of Beth's hips.

Beth must know it, too because she slides a hand between them, wrist knocking Alison's, and pushes past pink lace and into heat. It's becoming increasingly hard for both of them to remain upright, Beth's thighs quivering with the anxious climb and Alison's stomach growing taut.

They tumble over the edge of orgasm together, clenching around fingers and kissing between deep breaths. Alison falls back onto the bed and Beth falls with her, sliding out of Alison as she goes. Alison waits another moment before she reclaims her hand, taking a quick second to revel in the feeling of Beth, tight and wet and sensitive, around her fingers.

Beth rolls over to the side and Alison curls against her, tracing damp circles over her rib cage.

"That was... wow," Beth says, hoping that she isn't going to be judged for how eloquent she is at a time like this.

Alison hums her agreement. "We still haven't studied."

"Mm," Beth groans, shifting to look down at the other girl. "I've got an idea." She slides over, slings a leg over Alison's torso and the girl beneath her holds her breath when she feels the slickness of Beth just below her navel.

Beth towers over her, dark brown hair falling into Alison's face. She spend a moment just... appreciating. Alison traces shapes on her thigh and she's drawn back, lowers her lips to Alison's neck. "You're so beautiful."

"As much as I," Alison starts, cutting off when Beth moves down, teeth tugging on the skin blanketing her collarbone, "like _this_ , I have testing this week. And I really, really need your help."

"Didn't say we weren't gonna study," Beth murmurs against her skin. "Tell me about the case... Anything you can think of."

The case? Alison's mind goes blank, especially when she feels Beth's breath ghost a hardening nipple before her lips closely follow. "What about... the, uh, the case."

"Witnesses," Beth answers, and there's some relief when she's talking because she's not so _distracting_. "Who are you going to prepare for character witnesses?"

Her lips return and Alison's hips jerk. "The guy, the one who Wagner talked to first about the whole, um, thing?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" She lifts her head up, meets Alison's eyes, and it's a scary impression of Alison's entire high school school experience.

And thank _Jesus_ Beth's lips move down. Well, maybe not, as it occurs to Alison where her actual destination is. Suddenly, she's nervous and her fingertips tug into the sheets of Beth's bed.

"Telling you. I'll prepare Mr. Williams."

Her voice is strong, but it waivers on _Williams_ as Beth pushes her thighs apart, pressing her lips just inside her knee.

"And what about the other side?"

Alison is reeling, brain stopped mid-motion as Beth's hand curls around the back of her knee, as Beth's breath is the only thing she can feel on her skin, as she's expected to _think_ and to, to _function_ , how can she-

"Alison," Beth repeats quietly, squeezing the top of Alison's calf and enjoying the way the girl jerks. She files the information that Alison is ticklish away for later. "Who?"

She leans forward, lips dragging on the skin of Alison's inner thigh. Glistening with need, Alison trembles before her, breath panting.

"His wife."

"Wrong."

And it's the biggest reward she could ever recieve, when Beth's mouth finds her. Her fingers instantly leave the sheets and weave into Beth's hair as her hips rise to meet her lips. Beth's tongue circles her clitoris and Alison swears she sees stars. It's so, so much more _different_ than the few times she's done this before. She arrives to the affirmation that boys are sloppy, boys are careless, boys are _nothing like this_.

Her nails dig into Beth's scalp as the girl between her legs uses teeth, uses tongue, makes Alison's muscles contract and quiver and it's almost hilarious how close she is after only a small amount of time.

She shudders into the sheets and pulls Beth up towards her by the hair, tugs her lips carelessly, messily toward her own and kisses her. She comes with the taste of herself in her mouth and Beth grins into her lips.

"Have you thought of it yet," she whispers as Alison is still recovering.

"His best friend," she rasps, laughing when Beth kisses her shoulder.

"Took you long enough."

 

.,.

 

In class, Alison arranges her notes in front of her and hopes for questions about witnesses. She can't get Beth out of her mind, especially their... study session. The rest of the students file in and find seats, grumbling under their breaths about the oral testing. Oh, no, _oral_ is most definitely not the word to be thinking about right now.

The professor crosses to the table in the front, opens her case notes and gazes at the class over her glasses. "Now, who wants to go first?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter this time! Sorry for the wait, I was out of town for a bit.   
> Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed!


	5. fumus boni iuris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alison is honestly so done (and so gay). And yeah, there's a double date in the future.

Alison stands when her name is called.

By this time, the professor is sitting down at her desk, preoccupied with grading papers and barely listening to the students, who are sitting terrified and hoping for questions that they know the answers to. Alison had been sitting there, going through each section of her studying in her head and pointedly ignoring the things that weren’t… exactly _covered_ in the class. Like Beth’s head between her legs. No, she’s more focused on the actual words that had been said. Witnesses. Case details. Not. Tasting herself on Beth’s lips.

The teacher’s voice rings clear throughout the room when she says Alison’s name and Alison stands on shaky legs. Her back is straight and her lips are pressed tightly together and she waits.

She gets asked exactly three questions and she answers them all confidently and she’s sure that she’s right. She assumes that they’re right because the teacher moves on easily and Alison sits down, stunned. The next student cracks under pressure and her voice stutters and a serene sense of satisfaction washes over Alison. She sits there, trying not to grin and she cannot wait for the end of class, for that slip of paper to read a good mark, for her to have something to show Beth that all of their hard work has worked.

That grade sheet, when she’s handed it in the doorway, makes her heart swell. And it says _A-_ and _could’ve added more detail_ but it is the highest grade that Alison has received yet and she knows that she owes it completely and irrevocably to Beth.

She’s done with classes for the day and the only thing on her mind is Beth and nevermind the fact that she’s confused on where they are, whether they’re girlfriends or, or friends that make out, but all she knows is that she cares about Beth a lot. More than she expected. So she goes to Beth’s apartment and raps on the door, barely containing her excitement. Beth opens the door and she’s in sweatpants and a tank top and Alison is grinning.

She throws her arms around Beth’s shoulders and hugs her, bouncing on her toes.

“Woah, Alison,” Beth laughs, wrapping her arms around her waist. “Wasn’t expecting you.”

Alison pulls back and feels something hard in her chest, tries to ignore it. “I’m… sorry. Is this a bad time?”

Beth’s eyebrows knit together as Alison takes another step back. “What? No, of course not! C’mere.” She steps into the hallway and kisses Alison’s hairline. “You are never, never an inconvenience.”

Alison is hearing her mother’s voice in her head about manners and always calling first. She nods slowly into the crook of Beth’s shoulder and thinks about waving the grade sheet in her mother’s face. She feels tears prick at her eyes because she should be happy and she was, but now she’s not and she can’t stop herself from crying. Beth feels the moisture on her collarbone and pulls back, hands on either of Alison’s shoulders.

“Hey, hey - did I do something wrong?”

Alison shakes her head. “Not at all. I just…”

“You just what?”

Alison grins, tears shining in her eyes. “I got an A minus!”

Beth’s eyes widen and her hands squeeze before she tugs Alison against her chest. She holds her tightly and runs a hand over her hair. “I knew you had it in you.” They stand there for a moment, shifting from foot to foot and Alison realizes that she’s crying because she’s relieved. The weight to succeed on her shoulders is gone and it’s because of this girl. The one in her arms right this moment.

“Come on,” Beth murmurs after a moment, and Alison can feel her lips against her hair. “Let’s go watch a movie.” She laughs a little. “I’m really proud of you.”

She grabs Alison’s hand and leads her inside the cosy apartment. Cosima’s gone it seems, as Alison curls up on the couch watching Beth dig through her DVD collection. She holds up a few choices and pops one in when Alison grins. She presses play and comes over to the couch, leans over Alison and kisses her. Pressing her forehead against Alison’s, she asks, “D’you want something to drink?”

“Surprise me,” she suggests. A moment later Beth comes over and sets two beers on the table and practically sits on Alison, leaning against her and stretching out on the couch.

“This couch feeling a little hard to you?” she wonders, as Alison pushes against her.

“Get off,” Alison groans and Beth turns around, kisses her jaw as the title sequence plays on the TV. She teases Alison’s mouth open with her tongue and Alison curls against her. Her hands move to Alison’s hips and her fingers curl before she… “Oh my God!” Alison squeals, jerking suddenly. “No, no - Beth! Don’t - I’m ticklish!”

“That’s obvious,” she says, digging her fingers into Alison’s tummy enjoying the way the other girl can’t contain her giggling. She stops after a moment and Alison takes a moment to breathe, sinking into the couch as Beth’s hands still just underneath her shirt. “No, but really,” she murmurs, just as the movie starts, “I’m so proud of you.”

Alison tries her best to glare at her. “Thank you, but I’ve decided that I’m not speaking to you anymore.”

“Oh really?” Beth asks, fingers twitching. “I don’t think that would be in your best interest.”

“Alright, fine,” she sighs, grabbing Beth’s hands and pulling her closer. “Be quiet and watch the movie.”

Beth grins at her a moment before squeezing her way between Alison and the couch, wrapping her arms around her waist. They watch the movie for a little while, Beth breathing in the scent of Alison’s hair and her thumb brushing idly on Alison’s hip. They lie like that for a long while and Beth wonders how she’s never watched this movie before, all things considering.

She nuzzles is Alison’s hair. “So, does this mean you’re going to drop me as your tutor?” She’s joking, really. Well. Kind of. Something small inside of her feels like it might be true, just because that’s what Alison really came to her for.

“What?” Alison turns slightly and Beth smiles. “Why would you think that?”

“No reason,” Beth mumbles, kissing the corner of her mouth and shifting so Alison turns away from her again. “It’s good.”

“Besides,” Alison continues quietly, “We still have the mock trials to prepare for.”

Beth laughs, grins even, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

 

.,.

 

Cosima drudges up the stairs and laughs hollowly, leaning against the wall as Delphine tells her about her day. She smiles, holding the phone close to her face as she hears about the study of immunology. Her heart aches for Delphine and as the line goes silent and Delphine asks her if anything’s wrong, she mutters, “I just really miss you.”

She keeps walking, listening as Delphine sighs. “I know.”

She fumbles with the key in the lock. “Well, hey, at least you’re coming for Christmas, right? If you can get off work.”

“Oui… I am very excited to see you.”

She waits a moment outside of the door. “Me, too.” She shoulder the door open. “Listen,” she starts, but she trails off when she sees what’s inside. “Holy watershed.”

“Co-si-ma? What is it?”

Cosima stands there silently while the title sequence of _Legally Blonde_ plays over and over on the TV, watching Alison snore lightly with Beth’s lips on her shoulder. They’re both fast asleep and it is probably the _cutest_ thing Cosima has ever seen. She hadn’t known that they were an actual thing and now, she can’t stop smiling.

“Shit, Delphine, they’re like totally all over each other. Sleeping, though.

“Here,” she says to Delphine, lowering her voice down to a whisper, “let me send you a pic.” She types a few things onto her phone and snaps a picture of the two of them, curled up on the couch.

“Very cute,” Delphine says after a moment. “Reminds me of us.”

Cosima grins. “Yeah, yeah it does.”

“Je t’aime, Cosima. You know this.”

“I love you, too.”

 

.,.

 

The next day, Alison goes to see her mother. Her childhood home is in an entirely different area of the city, what Felix calls “Suburbia”. It’s about a forty five minute drive and Alison is white knuckled the entire way. Her mother and her have had a complicated relationship all of their lives. Alison, an only child, grew up with an absent father who worked almost all day and a mother who was always there to straighten her skirt, brush her hair, make sure that she behaved her best.

Law school was an escape from that. And now she’s ready to wave that grade sheet in her mother’s face, ready to prove that this charade to law school wasn’t just a joke.

“Alison, honey,” her mother drawls, when Alison finds herself sitting on the other side of the counter facing her, “please do sit up straight.”

Impossibly, Alison straightens by reflex. “How have you been, mother?”

Her mother smiles. “Your father is thinking of retiring. I don’t really know if I’ll enjoy having him here all of time,” she remarks and laughs a little bit.

“Daddy deserves it,” Alison says slowly. “Actually, I have something to show you.” She digs into her pocket and gets out the gradesheet, smoothing it out before handing it over to her mother. She watches as her mother rakes her eyes over the paper disdainfully, looking unimpressed.

“And what is this?”

Alison’s gaze hardens and she lets out a harsh breath through her nostrils, flaring. “It’s my most recent test score. I wanted to show you it.”

“Ali,” her mother starts, “I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say. You know that I never wanted this for you.”

“You just… You’re supposed to be proud, you’re my, my mother.”

“I’m not saying that I am not proud,” she says slowly. “I just don’t think that you’re going to go through with this whole law school thing.”

“Mother, this isn’t a phase,” Alison snaps. “I’ve wanted to do this ever since I was little and Daddy used to take me to his office I’ve wanted to do what he does. Help people, mother. I am going through with this whether you support me or not.” She stands and storms off into the bathroom, leaving her open-jawed mother alone. She grips the edge of the sink and tries to control her breathing.

The tears start coming when her mother raps on the outside of the door. She wipes at them furiously and hates herself for feeling the hurt like this.

“Alison, honey? Donnie’s here.”

Donnie. _Oh God, Donnie_. Alison stands in front of the mirror and realizes what she has to do. Realizes that her being with Beth means that she can’t be with Donnie, not if she still respects him enough to mind his feelings. And it’s just the icing on the cake with her mother, who absolutely loves what Donnie represents. Her mother loves that Donnie represents the small part of Alison that could settle down and become a stay at home soccer mom.

She sniffs, rubs at her eyes with a hand towel. After a moment of gazing into the mirror, she has herself composed. She’s had years of practice with her mother.

She goes into the kitchen and there he is, looking entirely too tall and holding some roses. “Donnie, this is not the time.”

“Be polite, Alison.”

She tenses and looks pointedly at Donnie. “Can we talk outside, please?”

“Sure,” he says, smiling dumbly at her. He follows her outside and she turns on him, has to look up to meet his gaze.

“We’re over, Donnie. I’ve…” She tilts her head to the side. “Met someone else.”

His puppy dog eyes turn to fright and he starts stuttering. It takes him a moment to figure out what exactly to say. “But… _Ali_ … Look, I’m sorry about the porn and I’m sorry about the, uh, the tryst with that girl senior year, but it’s better now. We’re better. Aren’t we?”

“No, no, we aren’t Donnie.” Her hand flits up to her eyebrow and she smooths out the crease there. “I am sorry but the life I want to live is not with you. We are done.”

“Ali -”

“Don’t call me that,” she hisses because she thinks about the way Beth calls her that and she doesn’t want it to be tainted with his begging. “Please, just, just leave.”

He takes a step back and nods solemnly. “Just… know that you can call me anytime, okay? I’ll wait for you.”

She shakes her head. “No, that’s not going to happen.”

“Just know.” And he goes, climbs into his car and drives down the lane and Alison realizes that she’s just broken up with the one aspect of her life that her mother actually enjoyed about her.

She leans against the outside of the house and dreads going back inside.

 

.,.

 

Beth comes back to the apartment holding an internship slip and part of her is actually considering a career in the District Attorney’s office. The part of her that doesn’t care about what her parents think and the part of her that is actually hopeful about the future. (The part of her that doesn’t crave the pills that make her sleepy and focused at the same time). Beth walks into the apartment and she raises her eyebrows as she finds Cosima, sitting in a tank top and briefs with a blunt between her fingers, letting out a crisp cloud of smoke from her lips.

“Uh, that’s illegal,” Beth points out after a moment, after the door has fallen shut.

Cosima’s head falls to the side and she looks at her. “Thank you, Ms. Obvious. Wanna hit?”

Beth sits down on the opposite side of the counter, careful to leave the internship application facedown on the table just inside the door. She rolls her shoulders. It’s unlikely that Alison will come over tonight; she’s supposed to be having dinner with her mother.

“Sure,” she says, surprising herself. Cosima raises an eyebrow and hands over the blunt and Beth takes a long drag, letting the smoke reach deep inside of her. Tendrils grab onto the hard brick inside and pull it out, releasing her tension into the air around her as the smoke billows. She sighs. “What are we smoking to?”

“I dunno about you,” Cosima mutters, “but Delphine’ll be here in a month and I’m scared as hell she just wants to end it in person.”

Beth coughs and Cosima cracks a grin at her. “No way,” Beth responds after a moment. “You guys are, like, meant for each other.”

“Grass does weird shit to you, Childs,” Cosima points out, suppressing a giggle from deep in her chest. “And besides, I’m cool. At least now I am.” She waggles a few fingers, the blunt dangling dangerously between two of them. “What about you? I definitely didn’t see you and bangs gettin’ cosy on the couch the other night.”

Beth taps the ash into a small bowl and shakes her head. “It’s nothing really about her. It’s more about school. Thinking about going into another branch. Criminal law.”

“No shit,” Cosima breathes. “Woah.”

“Yeah,” Beth says. She reaches over and takes another hit.

 

.,.

 

Alison goes back inside and finds her mother at the counter, like before. She has Alison’s phone in her hands and she looks up when her daughter comes in. At this point, Alison is so riled she just snaps. “Mother,” she says slowly, rage contained, “what are you doing with my phone?”

Her mother holds it up and presses something. A voice mail plays.

“Hello, you’ve reached Alison Hendrix. Please, leave your name, number, and a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can,” her own voice says.

After a moment, the message continues, “Heeeey, Ali. It’s me. Er, Beth Childs. The one you stalked… Ha! No, you didn’t stalk me. Anyway, I just wanted to, like, call you and tell you that you’re super cute and your lips are really soft and I am extremely high right now.” Beth laughs for a moment and Alison feels the blood rush to her face. “I hope we can, uh, _study_ some more. I really like hanging with you. Hope you’re having a good time with your mom. Okay. Bye. I guess.” She doesn’t hang up, though, and Alison can hear what she assumes it Cosima’s laugh on the line.

The message cuts off and her mother doesn’t meet her eyes. She sets down Alison’s phone and stares at it for a moment.

“Care to tell me what this is about?”

Alison huffs and stands straighter, tilts her chin up. “Yes, mother, I am dating Elizabeth Childs. And yes, she is a woman and she is in a law program. We met a few weeks ago and we’re dating. I just broke up with Donnie because this is a real thing. I am dating her and if you have a problem with that, then that’s too bad.” Her words come out crisp and sharp and cutting and her mother sits there for a moment and waits.

And then. “Alison, honey, don’t yell. It doesn’t suit you.” Her mother folds her hands, intertwining her fingers together. She finally meets Alison’s eyes.

“At least you’re dating someone with money.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was out of the country for a whole week and outlined the heck outta this thing and then wrote it all, straight through, yesterday.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated, but not necessary! :)


	6. modus operandi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're girlfriends!

Beth is lying on the couch, staring at the dust mites swirling through the air, catching the light, and she’s barely awake. She’d forgotten how exhausted good weed made her, learned from many a time in high school when she’d blazed it up in her basement (out of season, of course). Cosima’s on the floor, squished between the couch and the coffee table, snoring. Slowly, like she’s moving through syrup, Beth raises an arm, twisting her fingers through the air languidly. The digits disrupt the flow and dust mites scatter, small particles of light dancing this way and that.

She drops her arm, a small thump onto the couch the only indication.

Someone starts knocking on their door furiously and Beth twists on the couch, just gazing at the door for a long moment. Cosima groans, yells, “Shuuuut upppp,” before flopping back down against the carpet.

“Pretty sure it’s unlocked,” Beth half-yells, mostly because she’s too lazy to get up and open it. From the knock, she’s partly sure that it’s Alison. Almost bets Cosima that it is.

She would’ve won, she realizes idly, burying her face into a pillow as Alison comes into the main part of the apartment, hands on her hips. She doesn’t say a word, only lifts up her phone and the sound of a voicemail fills the sludged silence in the room. It’s Beth’s voice, actually it’s Beth only a few hours ago, when she was still riding that high for all it was worth and not almost passed out like now.

The message stops. Beth laughs a little bit. “That’s cute,” she says, pulling herself grudgingly into a sitting position. She hugs a pillow to her chest, setting it between her crossed legs as Alison rolls her eyes across the room.

“Cute? One, you’re _under the influence_ and normally, yes, I would think that it was sweet. But my mother heard it. You.”

She waits for the words to sink in and the fuzziness in Beth’s head ebbs away slowly as she comes to the realization of what that means. “Shit,” she breathes and she would get up if she trusted her legs right now. “ _Shit_. What did she… Did she do anything?”

Alison looks like she’s about to cry and Beth wishes that she was totally sober right now. She waves Alison over, watches as the other girl carefully avoids stepping on Cosima before settling onto the couch. “She,” Alison sniffs, “just seemed impressed and I expected something _else_. I told her that I broke up with Donnie and I could practically see the gears turning in her head, that her only daughter would end up single and alone and unhappy, but then I told her about us, you know, and she told me about how she met your dad once, apparently, and I was just so, so _mad_ and -”

“Alison,” Beth interrupts, grasping Alison’s wrists. “Take a breath.”

She does, nodding as tears stream down her cheeks. “She tells me that it was inevitable, that I came to her once when I was little and told her that I wanted to marry my best friend at the time, that boys were gross and she just - _she doesn’t get it_.”

“I’m out,” Cosima says, getting up and dragging her feet down the hallway.

Beth listens. Gives herself some girlfriend points.

Alison finally looks up at her, eyes red and teary. “And what are we, Beth? Like, are we dating or are we just - fooling around together? I just don’t know anymore and I’m starting to think that I don’t get it, either, but I want - I want to get it.”

“We can be whatever we want to be,” Beth says after a moment, thumbs tracing the insides of Alison’s wrists. “I would like to be your girlfriend, but if you…”

Alison nods, gazing at their hands. “I am dating Elizabeth Childs,” she says, smiling around the words.

Beth kisses her knuckles. “Alison Hendrix,” she starts before she coughs, clearing her throat, “would you like to go steady with me?”

Alison kisses her. “You’re such a dork,” she murmurs into Beth’s lips.

“ _Your_ dork,” Beth points out. “As of just now.”

Alison looks around, smiles, wipes at her eyes. “Where is… um… where is the,” she pauses, lowers her voice to say, “the _marijuana._ ”

Beth laughs, getting off the couch and heading over into the small kitchen. She eyes the mess she and Cosima made, rolling the blunts earlier, before grabbing two and a lighter. She hands one to Alison, who looks at it suspiciously, before lighting her own. She chuckles a bit, taking a long drag from the rolled paper. “Here,” she says, grabbing Alison’s hand to light it. She leads  by example, putting the blunt between her lips. “Like this.”

Alison sucks on it and starts coughing while Beth just laughs.

 

.,.

 

They’re sitting in a secluded section of the library, hidden by shelves and shelves of books. Beth’s hunched over a variety of Criminal Justice textbooks and Alison’s internally freaking about the mock trials coming up. She’s chewing on her pencil and Beth is absentmindedly chewing on her nails, the two of them practically mirrors as they study. Alison huffs in frustration when the information she’s reading doesn’t stick. Beth smiles to herself, not really reading, just picking up on the small cues from Alison telling her that she isn’t in the studying mood.

“You’ve been in a mock trial, right?” Alison asks quietly, her voice barely a whisper because they’re in the library and have to respect the rules.

“Mhmm,” Beth confirms, leaning back in her chair and putting her hands behind her head as she stretches her back. She notices Alison’s gaze looking her up and down, but doesn’t say anything. She grins. “I’m pretty sure that I got the best grade. This guy, Paul, totally tried to win, but I caught him with his ass in the air.” At Alison’s shocked expression, she amends her statement. “I mean, not literally, but he was totally unprepared because he underestimated me.”

“You should help me,” Alison hums, lips finding her pencil’s eraser again.

Beth stands up, tucks her chair against the table, before her hands find Alison’s shoulders. “Well, you have to be able to defend on your toes.”

“I can.”

“Okay,” Beth says. “Get up.” Alison does, standing between Beth and the table. “Sit on the table.” A little confused, Alison does as she’s asked, hopping slightly to balance on the edge of the table. Beth’s hands rest just above her knees. “So… what if I told you that you’re really quiet when we have sex?”

She isn’t whispering and Alison is mortified. “Beth!” she whispers harshly. “We are in the library!”

“Ali, c’mon, no one’s even back here.”

Alison glares at her and Beth smiles.

“ _Anyway_ , if I made a clear statement about you, how would you defend yourself?”

“I’m defending that I am, supposedly, really quiet?”

Beth nods, grabbing one of Alison’s hands from the edge of the table, intertwining their fingers for a moment, watching their hands. The tips of their fingers touch momentarily and Beth’s lips curve upwards for just a second. Alison is trying to think of instances where she wasn’t necessarily quiet, but not very vocal either. She comes up empty so tries to think of the benefits of being quiet.

“I would say that being quiet can be beneficial in some ways, when it comes to roommates and not wanting them to know about every aspect of our sex life.”

“Okay,” Beth says, neither agreeing or disagreeing. She edges Alison’s thighs apart, stepping between them, hands on either side of Alison’s knees.

“And there’s no need for me to be _loud,_ ” Alison continues, gripping the edge of the table as she thinks about it.

She misses Beth’s expression, part determination and part mischief. “So… how would you do if you didn’t have a choice?”

“What choice?”

“Like,” she starts, thinking about it, “if you _had_ to be quiet, how quiet would you be?”

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re -” She falters off when Beth’s hand goes for her jean buttons, undoing them deftly before Alison is seizing her wrist in a vice grip. “Beth!”

Beth leans in, presses her lips to Alison’s jaw, teeth skirting the sensitive skin just underneath it. “There is literally no one back here,” she murmurs, breath hot on Alison’s neck. Slowly, Alison’s grip lessens and Beth’s hand moves back, sliding between underwear and jeans, rubbing in small, erratic circles. That, combined with the heat of Beth’s breath, and Alison is breathing hard, biting her lip against the bubbling of sound growing in her chest.

“We haven’t even gotten to the hard part, yet,” Beth says after a moment, chuckling under her breath, “and you’re still struggling. Fascinating, honestly.”

Alison pushes against Beth’s shoulder so she can see the other woman’s face, kissing her to stifle the moan that threatens to claw itself from her throat. Her lips are insistent, bruising, and Beth kisses back in kind, slipping a tongue past Alison’s lips as her fingers press harder and Alison is sure that her favorite lace panties are ruined.

Alison pulls back, glancing right and left with wide eyes, making sure that they’re not being watched or close to getting caught. While she’s distracted, Beth pushes her underwear aside and pushes two fingers into Alison and the sound it elicits is pure satisfaction. It’s almost a mewl, the way it careens from Alison’s throat, but it’s a moan nonetheless.

“You’ve got to be quiet, Ali,” Beth tells her and yes, Alison understands that, but she’s also seeing stars and she’s focused only on the feeling of Beth inside of her and- and _eff_ the library.

It’s a tight fit, Beth’s hand in her jeans, but they make it work. Alison’s hips rock desperately as she leans back against the table, palms flat on the wood. Beth leans forward against her, hand against the back of Alison’s neck as her fingers curl and thrust, and she occasionally meets Alison’s lips, teeth gripping the girl’s bottom lip. She can tell that Alison is trying so hard to be quiet, by biting her lip, by kissing Beth, by breathing hard into the skin of Beth’s neck.

Still, it doesn’t stop the little, unexpected sounds. “God… ffff…” Alison huffs and Beth can tell that she’s close, punctuated by the little sounds she’s making more commonly, words that are attempted but never quite formed. And when her thighs clamp around Beth’s waist and she jerks her hips forward, she comes with a stutter before she just kisses Beth, determined to win, even when she’s unraveling. Beth holds onto her as she comes down, carefully sliding out and wiping her fingers on Alison’s jeans as the other girl tries to catch her breath.

“I can’t believe we just… that you…”

Beth kisses her neck, her collarbone. “Mm… I just forgot. Cosima wants us to come to dinner because Delphine just kind of showed up. She’s at the airport picking her up now.”

Alison, with stars swimming in her vision, just nods.

 

.,.

 

Beth sits on Alison’s bed as the other girl gets ready, idling twisting her hands into the bed sheets. “So, it was like, in high school. Delphine was the foreign exchange student and Cosima was her host family, but her parents worked a lot, so it was just them most of the time. They dated most of the time because Cos charmed her french pants right off but eventually, Delphine had to go back to France. Cosima got to spend time with their family too, though, that summer and had the time of her life or something. They kept dating and get to see each other every few months. I think this is the longest stretch they’ve gone without seeing each other.”

“That is so cute!” Alison gushes from her closet and Beth can hear the screech of hangers being moved around as Alison shuffles through the clothing.

She steps out to show Beth what she’s wearing, clad in a black dress and blazer, hair straightened and make up killer. “You look… amazing. Holy shit,” Beth tells her, standing up.

“You know,” Alison says, blushing slightly, “this is technically our first date.”

“Really? Take out in the library doesn’t count?” Beth crosses the room, rests her hands on Alison’s hips. “Seriously, you look great.”

“Thank you,” Alison murmurs, standing on her toes to kiss Beth. “And no, take out does not count as a first date.”

“C’mon,” Beth says. “Let’s go to my place so I can find something to match that cute ass outfit.”

On the way to Beth’s apartment, they walk in almost silence, commenting about the little things, like the puddles on the ground or the birds in the street. They hold hands the entire way, arms swinging with the rhythm of their footsteps.

Beth lets them into the apartment, chuckling at the comment Alison just made about her choice of welcome mat, and two steps in, she freezes.

“What is it,” Alison wonders quietly, coming to stand beside Beth.

Beth doesn’t answer, just mouths “listen” and Alison does, the two of them completely still. And sure enough, the room starts to fill with sound, the harsh thumping of something, sort of like…

“Oh my,” Alison says. “That sounds like…”

“A headboard,” Beth agrees and her eyes drift close when a low moan can be heard throughout the apartment.

“They’re not,” Alison starts, wide-eyed.

Beth bursts into laughter, mentally high fiving Cosima, before going over to the door and banging on it with her fist, the sounds within Cosima’s bedroom falling silent. “Hey fuckbirds, coulda keep it down a bit? I’m trying to get dressed.”

She thinks she hears a mumbled _oh mon dieu_ from inside, before Cosima’s voice rockets back, “Says the girl who gets to see her girlfriend everyday!” Alison, still in the entryway, smiles a little at that. She likes being called Beth’s girlfriend.

Beth leans against the door. “Nice to finally meet you, Delphine.” She grins. “Glad that you’re getting to see so much of the city.”

“She’s a little… preoccupied, right now,” Cosima answers instead. “But she sends her regards.”

Beth gestures for Alison to follow her into her own bedroom, getting dressed quickly, with only a small matter of opinion from Alison. She settles on nice slacks and a sweater, which Alison picked out. She tries to remember how she dressed herself before meeting Alison and figures that she probably didn’t reach the full potential of her closet. By the time they return to the living room, they find Cosima and Delphine at the table, chatting over a small bowl of truffles.

Alison notices the differences immediately. Where Delphine is tall and lanky, Cosima is short and lively, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that they’re both immensely gorgeous. Blonde hair bubbles from Delphine’s shoulders and Alison’s a little jealous of her long legs and the black jeans that seem glued to her skin.

Cosima’s dressed in a maroon dress, wacky accessories included and she waves at them, the bangles on her wrist clacking together. “Shall we go?”

 

.,.

 

Dinner goes amazingly and Alison leaves knowing more about biology than high school could ever tell her. Delphine is a scientist in her own right, she learns, and Cosima and her bonded over their love of the environment and hope to work together someday, Cosima with the legalities and Delphine with the experimentation. Alison realizes that they work really well as a couple, different, but working.

When Beth’s hand finds hers under the table, she realizes that her and Beth are working, too.

They leave together, hands in the hand of their respective girlfriends’.

Alison leans in toward Beth. “I think you should stay at my place to give them a little privacy,” she suggests and Beth nods before telling them and slowly, they begin the walk to Alison’s apartment.

When they walk in, Alison’s heart sinks as they find Felix and Sarah and a bunch of their friends getting drunk.

“Alison! Beth! Come join the party!” Felix croons.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY so much sorry for the long wait. Thanks so much for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Also, credit to the movie Bloomington for the inspiration of the library scene. Highly recommend it.


	7. absque hoc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mock trial!! Amongst... other things.

Beth handles her alcohol extremely well, Alison is coming to find. It’s surprising, considering how she handled her weed, or that first time they’d gotten drunk together, but that’s beside the point. Beth downs shots like it’s second nature and laughs with Alison’s roommates’ friends while Alison sits on the edge of the couch, back straight, hands in her lap, waiting for something, anything, to go wrong. Beth bumps her shoulder occasionally, looping an arm around Alison’s shoulders and kissing the shell of her ear.

“Get a room,” Sarah groans, laid out on Cal, who’s large and hairy but not in the bad way, Alison thinks. He presses kisses to her hairline as she gets drunker and shrugs, explaining that he’s the driver tonight.

Felix is entertaining two of his own guests, pointedly licking vodka off a slim man’s happy trail as Beth urges him on.

“You two are _smokin’_ ,” another guy suggests and Alison feels her cheeks burn. She’s met Tony before and he’d called her a douche, so they haven’t been on the greatest of terms since.

Beth takes it in stride. “Too bad neither of us are into bad haircuts and pathetic goaties.”

“Ouch, wounded,” Tony grins, running a hand through his long mullet. “Not my type anyway.”

Felix grabs his arm, smashing their mouths together and the other guy, Ramon, groans and makes his way over to Alison. She finds Ramon significantly more enjoyable, having met him various times before.

“Ms. Hendrix,” he greets, settling into the space beside her with a beer in his hand.

“I’ve told you to call me Alison,” she reminds him and he smirks.

He cranes his neck to he can see Beth clearly. “And you are?”

Beth’s smile is crooked, her hand shaking as she reaches around the back of Alison for a handshake. “Beth Childs, here to escort this certified lightweight.”

“Lightweight?” Alison practically whines, reaching for the bottle of whiskey. “Never.”

“Sure,” Beth tries, pressing a kiss to Alison’s cheek. “I’ll be right back.” Alison watches her disappear down the hallway, wonders where she’s going.

Ramon watches, too. “Pity you’re taken. Though, she’s cute. I like her.”

She laughs, patting Ramon’s knee. “I’m going to go with her.” She gets up and follows, trying her bedroom first before tapping lightly on the bathroom door, the light from inside flooding underneath the door onto the carpet. “Beth? Are you in there?”

“Yeah, come in. I’m decent.”

She does, closing the door softly behind her. Beth’s seated on the toilet seat, leaning back. She sighs. “I feel like they hate me,” Beth says after a moment, while Alison takes a seat on the edge of the bathtub.

“They dont -”

“It’s just a feeling,” Beth mumbles. “I don’t know, I’m not used to people not being bitchy, you know? These people, they’re just… nice. Makes me think they’re being too nice.”

“You’re thinking too much into it,” Alison tells her, leaning forward to put her hands on Beth’s knees. “I’m serious, they like you.”

Beth smiles crookedly, nods. Alison’s still not sure that she’s convinced so she says, “We can go to bed, if you want. I have the mock trial tomorrow and need some sleep.”

“That’d be nice, thanks,” Beth agrees, letting Alison lead her by the hand out of the small bathroom. It’s two steps to the bedroom and once they’re inside, Beth pulls back on Alison’s hand, spinning the other girl toward her for a kiss. Alison kisses back, arms curling around Beth’s neck.

Alison steps away, flush in her cheeks and smile on her lips, to go to the closet and pick out something to wear to sleep. She glances at Beth in her jeans and crewneck. “Do you need something to wear tonight?”

Dropping her jeans, Beth shrugs. “Not really. I’m cool in this.” She gets into bed and just watches Alison get ready, slipping into plaid pajamas and putting a sleeping mask on her forehead. She makes room and lifts the covers when Alison slides in next to her.

Alison curls into her, back to Beth’s front, Beth’s hands on Alison’s hips. “You know,” Beth murmurs into Alison’s hair, “this is the first time that I’ve spent the night.”

Alison turns in her arms, nuzzles into Beth’s neck, kissing the skin there.

As Alison’s breathing evens out, Beth tries not to think about mock trials tomorrow and the information she’s kept. She tries her hardest to ignore the guilty pit in her stomach. She falls asleep, eventually, restlessly.

 

.,.

 

Beth tugs the covers over her head and groans when Alison’s alarm goes off, burrowing into the comforter when the lights flicker on. Alison doesn’t say a word, only alternates between the bathroom and her bedroom and at some point, Beth finds herself watching Alison’s routine. She sets several outfits out on Beth’s feet and looks at them for a moment, finally choosing a navy blazer. She leaves for about ten minutes and comes back with her hair tied up, bangs neat, and face accented with eyeliner and lipstick.

She slips out of her sleeping clothes like Beth isn’t even there, changing in front of the mirror and looking into it every once and a while. Finally, she’s standing, gazing at her reflection, and Beth offers, “You look cute.”

“Thank you,” Alison sighs and Beth can tell that she’s nervous. “You need to get up.”

“Fine,” Beth grumbles, slipping out of the sheets and grabbing her jeans from the floor. She slips into them, tugging denim over her hips. Alison comes up behind her and pushes her shoulders and Beth laughs, leaning back onto Alison’s hands.

“I have class, Beth,” Alison groans and Beth lets herself be pushed out of the room. Alison grabs her keys and Beth stands there, surveying the scene in front of them.

Tony’s face-down on the floor, his face curled into the crook of his elbow and his other hand wrapped around an empty bottle of liquor. Ramon is nowhere to be found and Felix, he’s sitting at the counter with drooping eyes and a mug of coffee. Alison rushes toward him gratefully, murmuring something about hoping that Felix takes his coffee with cream, before grabbing the cup from him and taking a drink.

She spits it out, a spray coming down on the counter. “This is _not_ coffee.”

He turns toward her drowsily. “Hmm? Oh, it’s a mimosa.”

Beth leans against the wall and chuckles, watching as Alison frantically wipes at her mouth. She turns to Beth, says, “Where is the nearest Starbucks?”

Beth opens her mouth to respond, but Sarah beats her to it.

“Stop with the whiny voice,” she groans, turning in Cal’s arms. They’re intertwined on the cough, the piece of furniture looking tiny compared to his huge frame. She tries to sit herself up, using her hand on his face as leverage and he coughs.

He sits up, his long hair sticking out, and Sarah curls against him further.

Alison lowers her voice. “We have to go,” she hisses to Beth.

Beth nods, lets Alison grab her hand, thinks _that is pretty damn cute_.

 

.,.

 

Alison has class, yes, but for everyone not involved with the mock trial, no one has class. People skip if they do, but most of the teachers wants to stick around for it, too, so no one has class. Long after Alison disappears Beth finds herself in the largest lecture hall at the school and it’s been set up to look like a courtroom. She sits near the front, waves at a few of her acquaintances, and settles her hands in her lap as she waits.

Alison had considered it an honor when she was picked, but Beth knew it was more of a freshman disaster. Sure, the people who were picked were smart, but the teachers picked one of the lowest in the class (Alison, even if she was making her way towards the top) and one of the highest (something Beth hadn’t mentioned to her girlfriend).

Beth tells the guy next to her to save her seat before she goes in search of Alison, suddenly having a change of heart.

She finds Alison with her defendant, of course, and draws her to the side. “Do you know who you’re going against?”

Alisons tsks, moves to look through some papers again. “Of course not, that’s part of the whole idea.”

“It’s Rachel.”

Alison’s back is turned and she freezes, not moving an inch.

Beth comes up behind her. “I believe in you,” she murmurs, but Alison shakes her off.

“No, no, no -- Belief won’t help me! I’m not as good as her -- she’s almost top of the class.”

“Alison --”

“And you knew? You didn’t tell me?”

“Ali --”

“All of those people are going to see me fall on my face and screw up. There’s no way that I’m going to win!”

“Alison!”

She stops, looks at Beth with pleading eyes. Beth reaches forward and places her hands on Alison's shoulders, thumbs rubbing in reassuring circles.

"It'll be okay," she says after a moment's pause. "Rachel knows this case forward and back, but you know what she doesn't have?"

Alison just minutely shakes her head, her gaze wide.

"Your determination. I know you, Ali -- and I know that you have this -- this sheer will power that makes you one of the most stubborn people I've ever met," Beth says quietly, the corners of her mouth upturning. "And Rachel is a frigid bitch, to be honest" -- Alison laughs at that -- "and you also know this case. You have nothing to worry about."

Alison nods, looking down briefly. She takes a shuddering breath, rights her spine, lets the tension roll from her shoulders. "You'll be there, won't you?"

"I've got a seat saved," Beth assures her. "You have this, Alison."

"I do," Alison agrees. "I can win this."

.,.

And she does -- have it, that is. Alison looks like she owns the courtroom, her navy blazer as crisp as Rachel's grey one. Black pants against a grey skirt and they're into it -- several hours of case files and arguments. People mill in and out, catching particularly boring moments and some moments where Alison loses her cool. She rolls her eyes or something more telling and Rachel grins smugly from across the floor, red lips curving demurely. The color of blood accents each word she says, along with the posh English.

Beth's never really understood Rachel. She knows from her parents that Ethan Duncan, Rachel's father, owns one of the biggest law firms back home, but she has no clue why his daughter decided to move to the States. (And way back when, Beth's father had actually suggested making nice with the Ice Bitch -- Beth and Rachel had been _friends_ for about a semester.)

Now, Beth can see that Rachel's grown from undergrad. Her clothes fit better, she is colder, and her hair -- that's the most significant difference -- has been cut sharp, ending near her jawline. A blonde bob makes her look sterile, almost, makes her look like she's got a vengeance for anyone and everything.

Specifically Alison, as the word "objection" rolls off her tongue, interrupting Alison's own voice and Alison only can gape as the judge nods. Rachel leans back into her chair as Alison sits down and takes the stage (so to speak).

She's mesmerizing, captures the attention of the students easily, pointing out things Beth hadn't even considered and she notices Alison writing furiously at her own table, the student picked as her defendant trying to read over her shoulder. Alison elbows him out of the way before flipping the page over, sitting up straight, and waits for Rachel to finish.

When she does, when it's time for closing arguments, Alison's up first. Beth regrets not asking her to practice with her before this, as she watches Alison make her way to the front of the room. Alison looks nervous, looks like she's not going to say anything at all, even when she opens her mouth -- nothing comes out.

She closes it and Beth swears she can hear the click of her teeth in the sustained silence of the room.

Alison starts speaking and ends in the same sentence. It's just one and Beth readies herself for Rachel. Readies herself for the comforting she'll have to do with Alison tonight.

Rachel says, "Nothing further, your honor."

And Beth's heart soars.

After a short deliberation, Alison's got it. She's won and the room erupts in whispers. Prof. Ward comes up and shakes Alison's hand and even Rachel, grins politely before disappearing to God knows where. It's only when Alison turns to Beth, the biggest smile Beth has ever seen on her face, that Beth registers that Alison has actually won. Alison hugs her, whispers into her hair, "stay here."

Beth doesn't object, only sits down and watches Alison make the rounds. She's being congratulated, patted on the back, given polite nods from Rachel's team. And soon they're alone and Beth stands.

"I knew you had it in you," she says and Alison only nods.

She crosses the room and fists her hands in Beth's shirt, pulling her in for a hungry kiss. Her mouth crushes into Beth's almost painfully, passionately, and Beth can already taste the want from the way her lips are moving, the way her shirt is straining against her back as Alison pulls. She grabs Alison's wrists and pulls back, laughing lightly. "I'm starting to like Stressed Alison," Beth says coyly.

"You're impossible," Alison huffs, but she's smiling, leaning in for another kiss. Beth accepts it, lets her own lips mold against Alison's slowly. "And I've never wanted you more," Alison admits against the corner of Beth's mouth.

Her hands are on the buttons of Beth's jeans before Beth can even voice a complaint, and she's left frantically looking around as Alison drops to her knees and tugs denim down her thighs. Light kisses pepper Beth's thighs and Beth feels so... bare in the middle of this lecture hall. She falls back against the seat and Alison makes an impatient noise, looking up at her.

"This works better if you're standing," she points out.

"No way in hell," Beth returns, grabbing Alison's hand and pulling her into her lap.

Alison's thighs settle on either side of Beth's hips and Beth groans as Alison kisses her, the ache between her legs becoming the only thing she can think about. Alison's hips roll and Beth wants more contact -- is sorely regretting not letting Alison take her earlier. Alison presses a hand against Beth's stomach, fingernails digging in everything it flexes with Beth's breathing. Beth grabs it, slides it further down and Alison gets the idea. Beth's jeans are wrapped around her ankles as Alison slips a hand past her underwear, fingers circling her clitoris, eliciting a low moan from the back of Beth's throat.

"We are so gonna get caught," Beth pants, breath catching when Alison's fingers tease.

Alison laughs into the hollow of her neck, capturing Beth's ear with her teeth, before whispering, "Let them. I just kicked Rachel's butt."

"Let's not -- _fuck_ \-- talk about Rachel right now," Beth amends. "Shit."

Alison hums her agreement, finally pushing inside of Beth with two fingers, feeling the way Beth's chest seeks out more contact when she curls her fingers a certain way. She crooks them and scratches an itch Beth never knew was there, her other palming Beth's breast through her shirt. Alison begins a steady rhythm, pulsating through Beth's want with practiced ease.

"Not that I'm -- _complaining_ ," Beth attempts to say, but it's more strained whispering more than anything, "shit, yeah, right there -- but there could be some deep shit if we get caught."

Alison freezes. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No!" Beth practically whines. "Never -- no."

Alison draws her in again, Beth's thighs clenching around her hand. She moves her hips in time with her fingers and soon Beth's breathing grows quicker, her hips moving against Alison's fingers more desperately. Alison pulls her over the edge with a faster pace and Beth is gasping into her neck. Beth bites the skin there, muffling the sounds in her throat. Alison pulls back, drawing her fingers up to her own lips momentarily. Beth watches her as she curves her lips around the digits, tasting Beth like she's been doing it for years.

"Fuck," she breathes. "We need to get home. ASAP."

Alison climbs off of her, smiling wickedly, and Beth pulls up her jeans and stumbles a bit. She grabs Alison's hand and pulls her from the room when she can walk steadily, her hand warm in Alison's. She looks over her shoulder at Alison and thinks about words like love, words like forever, because Alison's hand just feels so right.

Alison looks back and thinks about which apartment can be considered home.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm sorry about the wait, I kind of lost track of my writing muse for a while -- but I am grateful to you guys because I churned this chapter out for you.
> 
> Sorry that it's not the greatest.
> 
> A heads up, this story will be coming to an end soon, in about two chapters (maybe three). But I hope to give it the ending it deserves!
> 
> Thanks again for putting up with me.


	8. mutatis mutandis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those three words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates! Muse has been fickle. Then, school started. Turns out, five AP classes are... well... five AP classes. But! Alas! A chapter!

Home, after much debate, turns out to be Beth’s house, because Cosima’s checked in to a hotel with Delphine and Alison’s pretty sure that Sarah (and Cal) are still camped out on her and Felix’s couch. Alison doesn’t mind though, not when Beth’s arms are wrapped around her middle and Beth is fast asleep and Alison has time to think about the softness of the sheets, the ghost of Beth’s breathing on her neck -- all of the little things she’s never given herself the time to think about. The small things that are nice, every once and a while, the spend time on.

And everything is falling into place around her, like when a child builds an unsteady palace made of blocks. It’s not a guarantee, at first, but soon someone comes to help and they’ve created a masterpiece and that’s what they have, Alison supposes: a masterpiece. Something she’s beginning to think about sharing with her parents next holidays, or maybe they could even move in together.

A half of a semester and Alison is already falling into stereotypes. She stifles a small giggle, hoping that Beth can’t feel the quake of her shoulders.

She begins to think about how, maybe, someday, they could be a team, something like Childs & Childs, if Alison even manages to graduate law school. Hendrix & Childs has kind of a ring to it (she’s almost certain Beth won’t argue with Alison’s name going first and if she does… well… they’ll work that out later) and Alison likes it. A lot.

Not to mention that her mother called the other day, before the mock trial, to apologize about being so abrasive. She mentioned that she was happy for her, that she was glad to hear that Alison was doing okay.

For the first time in a long time, Alison could truthfully say that she was happy.

She rolls her neck to the side, waiting for that satisfying crack before she lets her eyelids slide open, peering at the illuminated clock on Beth’s nightstand. It’s still early, but that’s how Alison likes it. The air is clear in the morning and so’s her head. She extracts herself, slowly, from Beth’s arms and thinks briefly about leaving a note, feels bad about leaving unannounced but would feel even worse if she had to wake Beth up.

So she gets out of bed without a single sound coming from Beth, who just drops a dead weighted arm onto the bed that had been previously draped over Alison’s waist. She locates her things quickly, digging around in Beth’s drawers for a pair of sweatpants that she might be able to borrow. She thinks about movies, thinks about having a drawer to herself.

That’s when she sees a letter from the registration office.

She hears her mother’s voice in the back of her head when she reaches for it, something about not going into other people’s business, but she’s sure that her mother has stolen her neighbor’s mail plenty of times on occasion (though she knows this doesn’t make whatever she’s about to do right). She slides the paper out, glancing over at Beth, who at one point had silently turned around to face away from her, before she begins to read.

_“Dear [Elizabeth Childs],_

_The Administrations Office has accepted your request to switch into [criminal justice] and out of [corporate law]. The change will be effective immediately. If you have any further questions or requests, please contact us again._

_Administration Office.”_

 

Alison moves almost mechanically, the full thoughts in her mind vanishing slowly, thick like syrup, as she puts the paper back into the ripped envelope and onto the table.

Why wouldn’t Beth tell her? Especially before she made such a big change? Why would Beth waste the opportunities she’d been given by just being born? She can so easily become a famous lawyer, become so, so successful -- she has the grades and the name -- and she is dropping everything.

She is dropping everything to become a mere prosecutor or something.

Tears sting at Alison’s eyes as she leaves.

 

.,.

 

Beth rolls over and smiles into cold sheets. She’s half asleep and sighs into the low light and the slight ache in her head makes her glad that she doesn’t have class today. She stretches, taking up a good portion of the bed as she listens to her bones crack, feels each muscle strain against her movements. She loves being in tune with her body, loves knowing what each inch can do, something she’s become accustomed to since day one of high school cross country.

She reaches toward the nightstand for her phone and scrolls through the lock screen, going to her recents for Alison’s contact name. After four rings, “Hello, you’ve reached Alison Hendrix. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message detailing your business with me and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!”

“Ali, hey. You skipped out before I could ask if could come to lunch with… uh. Well, my parents. Kind of a big thing to spring on the phone seeing as you’ve never met them and basically idolize them. Call me when you get this. You might have class and I’m seeing them for the first time in a few months… Anyways. I’ll text you, see what’s up.”

Beth hangs up. She collapses back into the pillows and feels that familiar tug in her stomach, the same thing she felt when Paul left, when he wanted to spend more time with her parents than with her.

“Fuck,” she breathes. Why did she have to be so goddam insecure? Alison’s nothing like Paul (obvious differences ignored) and, not to mention, Beth is in a completely different headspace compared to where she was when she was dating him.

She turns over, burying her face into a pillow.

She gets dressed eventually, quickly and blankly, not really thinking about what she’s wearing besides the fact that the restaurant will probably frown upon jeans. She sends a quick text to Alison to see where she is but gets nothing in response. By the time she’s leaving her apartment, Alison still hasn’t responded. Beth slips her phone back into her pocket and stands on the corner to wait for the bus.

At lunch, Beth’s parents have already arrived.

She forces a smile because she’s still a little worried about Alison.

“Elizabeth, honey, how is school going?”

“Fantastic,” Beth answers honestly as she sits down, watching as her father glances down at his corporate phone, as her mother barely meets her eyes.

Her father hums in assent. “I think I’ll have the fish,” he says and her mother makes a small sound before she says, “I’ll have a salad.”

And Beth settles into the routine she’s always been in at dinners like these, ever since she was a little girl. Her parents are always concerned with work, more than her, more than each other, but she knows that the love is there, even if it is difficult to find.

It would be easier to tell them about her change in direction if Alison were here. Beth’s parents are making casual conversation about the weather, about the news, about her school, until, suddenly, her father says, “How is Paul, Elizabeth? Is he well? We haven’t heard much from him.”

She stiffens. “I haven’t heard much from him, either.”

“What do you mean,” her mother asks.

“I mean,” Beth clarifies, “we broke up. A few months ago, actually.”

She’s met with silence. She’s met with, for the first time, both of her parents’ gazes.

Her father says, “Well that’s...”

“...new,” her mother finishes.

Beth shrugs, mostly because she doesn’t know what response she was expecting. They don’t look angry; her mother’s eyebrow isn’t doing that crease thing it does when she’s trying to hide her emotions, and her father isn’t turning into a blank slate like he does when he shuts down. They actually look slightly relieved.

“It’s for the better,” her mother says after a moment.

Her father nods. “I didn’t like the attitude on that one. Plus, his father does not have admirable qualities to pass down.”

Beth laughs, bursting, and her parents crack a few hesitant smiles as well.

“I didn’t like the way he acted around you,” her mother adds. “Like he was always in control. He needed to understand that it’s going to be you that’s head of our law firm one day.”

She feels her heart sink, mostly because her parents are smiling at her and are proud of her for a decision she’s made and she’s about to throw that in their faces. She’s about to give up her dream to become something completely unrelated.

“About that,” Beth says, her ankles crossing under the table. She runs the pad of her finger across the rim of her glass. “I don’t want to go into corporate law.”

A raised brow and a curious gaze as her mother slowly stops chewing a piece of lettuce. Beth doesn’t rush to clarify, just waits for them to come to their own conclusions, waits for them to ask any questions they might need to.

“Well, of course you do,” her mother says slowly. “You’ll inherit the company.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Whatever will you do?”

Beth takes a deep breath. “I want to be the District Attorney someday. Help people instead of help people sue other people. I don’t want to just make money, I want to make a difference.”

Her father reaches for his iced tea and takes a long drink before speaking. “I think it suits you, Elizabeth.” Her mother looks at him like he’s crazy. He says to her, “At least she’s going to be a lawyer.”

Her mother is tense, but she almost snorts, and the two of them, they have an odd sort of humor between them. They all begin to chuckle, the small, unique family that they are.

After a moment, her mother says, “We support you, Elizabeth, no matter what.”

“Thank you, mom. Really.”

“You know that I just want you to have a full life. To enjoy it. To be successful.”

“I know.” The stress of telling them is gone, and there’s a warmth in her chest, because her parents are smiling at her from across the table. “Actually… There’s someone I’ve been meaning to tell you about.”

 

.,.

 

Alison can’t concentrate in her classes.

In the hallways, she’s met with pats on the back and congratulations, peers impressed by her performance in the mock trial. She doesn’t even know what to say to Beth and angrily ignores every one of Beth’s calls and messages, trying to sort out the shattered pieces in her mind.

She doesn’t want to admit that she’s falling apart, but she has no one to turn to. She wants to cry into Beth’s shoulder, wants to scream in Beth’s face, wants to never speak to Beth again.

She’s in the middle of class when it hits her and she leaves immediately, running down the street to her apartment and past a barely asleep Felix to her room.

She cries, harder than she has in months, for about one minute before there’s a knock on her door.

“Alison?” It’s Felix.

She sniffs, too loud, immediately regretting it when he pushes his way inside and clicks his tongue. The bed dips when he settles beside her, gathering her in his arms.

“Oh, honey,” he says, when she starts sobbing even harder into his shoulder.

“She just… she _can’t_ , Felix. She’s letting it all go for _nothing._ ” And Felix doesn’t know exactly what or who she’s talking about, so he just nods into her hair and mumbles his agreement, kissing her forehead.

 

.,.

 

Beth pushes her phone into her pocket and takes the steps to Alison’s apartment two at a time, ignoring the feeling in her stomach that says something might be wrong. The door is open when she gets there and she’s attacked with flashbacks from every horror movie she’s ever scene where the door is slightly ajar and she doesn’t even think, pushing it aside and rushing to Alison’s bedroom.

She doesn’t find Alison dead, however, but she finds Alison crying, which is the second worst thing.

Beth stands in the doorway, unsure, because neither Felix nor Alison notice her. Until, “Alison?” comes out of her mouth, and Beth decides that she doesn’t sound like herself, she sounds… broken.

They both jump, separating immediately. Felix is to his feet and crossing the room, a finger ready to push her out of the room when Alison catches up. “Felix, wait --”

He stops, veers off to the side of the room, crossing his arms.

Beth doesn’t move a muscle, just watches as Alison attempts to compose herself, wiping haphazardly at her puffy eyes. She says, “I read your reassignment,” by way of an explanation, and Beth glances over at Felix.

“Can we talk about this alone?”

Alison nods, swallowing, and Felix leaves, brushing against Beth’s shoulder as he does.

“First,” Beth says, still not having moved, “I didn’t realize it would upset you this much.”

Alison scoffs, but doesn’t say anything else, moving over to the bed; it creaks when she sits down on it and she doesn’t invite Beth to sit with her. She waits for Beth to continue.

“Secondly, it’s something that I’ve been thinking about for a long time now and I honestly think it’s the best course of action for me.”

“Are you honestly going to give everything you have up?” Alison’s sadness fades and now, confronted with Beth in front of her, she’s angry. “All you have to do is graduate and you are guaranteed with a lifetime supply of being taken care of, Beth. With this, what, how long will it be until you actually get to be district attorney? You’ve already done so much work to stay in law school and get through it, why are you letting all of that go?”

“Because I want to help, Alison,” she pleads, taking a step. “Honestly, if I could enroll in the police academy without my parents disowning me, I would, but this is the next best thing. I’ll get to help people. Justice, Alison.”

Tears spill over Alison’s eyes, as she imagines Beth in a vest. A gun pointing at her. “I don’t… I don’t want to lose you,” she admits, her voice quiet, and immediately, Beth is kneeling in front of her, hands closing around her wrists.

“No, you can’t think like that,” she says, because she can’t say she’ll never be lost.

She kisses away Alison’s tears, presses her lips to Alison’s cheeks and holds her as close as she can. “We’ll be okay. I promise.”

Alison leans forward until their foreheads are pressing together. We’ll be okay. “I love you,” Alison says, and her heart sinks when all she hears in response is a sharp intake of breath.

“I love you, Alison, I love you so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! And, unfortunately my dear readers, this fic shall come to a close sometime soon. Maybe in a chapter or two. Mainly for the fact that I am running out of ideas and that my knowledge of law school has run its course. Was going to end it on this chapter, but decided it would probably be better if it were a little happier and lived up to that first summary that included the word "fluff".
> 
> Again, thank you for reading and I appreciate every one of you.


	9. trial de novo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time in the future and ending with the night of their graduation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL. Thanks for the ride. This thanks won't be as long as the next thanks, but as is customary, thank you for reading.

****Some Time in the Future****

 

Beth pulls her phone out of her pocket, glancing at the time, mentally cursing whoever had anything to do with the goddamn jury and their choice to stay in that deliberation room for longer than what’s considered normal.

She sighs, leaning back against the wood bench, drumming her fingers on her upper arm.

“If you keep going with that, you’ll drive the defense crazy,” Art hums under his breath and Beth skirts her gaze toward the pompous looking lawyer standing only a few feet away, quietly chattering with his client. She lets a thought drift in.

“That could’ve been me. Hell, it would’ve been me, if I hadn’t had met Alison, if I hadn’t had learned to stand up for myself,” she says.

“I’ve seen him before. Works with the big money types. Hasn’t lost a case, I heard.”

“Well, he’s about to. If I win this one, I’m guaranteed Assistant District Attorney, Art.”

Unexpectedly, his hand finds her knee and squeezes and she watches it before bumping his shoulder with hers. “You got this, Childs. A long deliberation usually just means there’s one ass who thinks differently than the rest of them. Think _Twelve Angry Men_.”

“Yeah, cause that helps.”

He raises his hands up, backing off, and doesn’t say another word.

Beth tightens her crossed arms. She looks at her phone again.

“Jesus, Childs,” he groans.

“I _can’t_ be late, Art.” She falls forward, elbows on her knees and hands in her hair, in a sign of resignation, so unlike her that Art is at a loss. She scraps constellations in her scalp sitting there, thinking about her dreams flying past and it all relies on this one jury, this one _motherfucker_ who is holding up a guilty verdict, and -- and --

“Beth,” Art is saying, reaching forward and grabbing her wrists. “Alison invited me, too. It’ll be both us in the ground soon.”

At that, she cracks a smile, finally, and he exhales. “Then who’ll keep criminals off the street?”

“Deangelis, maybe.”

“ _Ha_. Fat chance.” Beth’s foot starts tapping, but she’s grinning and not as exasperated as before so Art considers this one a win.

He leans back and smirks. “Don’t get used to this, Childs. Becoming ADA doesn’t mean you’re suddenly better than the rest of us.”

“What?” she breathes, looking at him. “I’d never --” but she’s cut off when someone comes out of the courtroom to tell them that the jury is back in with a verdict. She jumps up, the athlete she is, and points at him as she walks backwards. “You’re about to owe me fifty.”

“How about fifty you run into the defense attorney?”

“Huh -- _shit_ \-- I’m so sorry.” She scrambles to help the man pick up his papers and only gets a glare in return. She waits for Art, then, going in a few steps after the defense and their client to resume their seats. The two of them are the air of professionalism by the time they’re sitting down.

Beth can barely sit still, eye flicking toward the clock and back as she waits for the foreman to be called and for him to gather his papers. His last, longing glance toward his peers is too long in her opinion. She tries reading his mind, hoping that if she can hear the word, clear as day before he actually says it, she’ll be able to fly out of there and get to Alison’s opening. No such luck.

Finally, he looks ready to speak.

He says, “We find the defendant guilty on all counts.”

And it takes all of Beth’s self control not to jump out of her seat and run out of the courthouse. She stays for a maximum of five minutes and shakes maybe twenty hands and slips out the side and finds that Art is right behind her.

“She’s probably going to decapitate both of us; we’re already ten minutes late,” Art tells her.

“Then she’ll _really convincingly_ frame Cosima for it. Deangelis will be none the wiser.”

He holds the passenger door open for her. “What if we skipped it entirely?”

She gives him a withering glare. “I’d rather be just dead than dead _and_ single.”

 

.,.

 

The parking lot is full and over the heads of the crowd and the TV cameras, Beth can see Alison and Cosima on the front steps of their new law office. “Good,” she says, mostly to herself, “they haven’t cut the ribbon yet.”

She follows Art and they weave through the edges of the crowd, making their way to the front. Through loudspeakers they can hear Cosima’s voice, saying how much of an honor it is to be serving the people, and then Alison pipes in, explaining the not for profit part of the organization. And finally, they thank the anonymous donor from Childs & Childs who helped fund the opening of the law firm itself and helped them get on their feet. Without them, Alison says, we wouldn’t have gotten close to our goal for another ten years. Because of that, Hendrix & Niehaus is a subdivision of the infamous law firm Childs & Childs but that only helps get the name out there and hopefully, allows potential clients to trust us, Cosima adds.

They start making way to cut the ribbon at the front and Beth is a few rows from the steps. When they do cut the ribbon, Cosima is enveloped by a very amorous hug from Delphine and Alison stands there, smiling tightly.

Beth shoulders her way through the rest of the crowd and is the unofficial first to cross the front steps threshold.

She grabs Alison’s hand and leans into her, her mouth close to Alison’s ear. “What’d I miss?”

“Oh, you know, just _everything_ ,” Alison hisses.

“I’m not late I swear,” Beth says, trying her best grin in hopes of getting Alison to forgive her. “There was traffic and court ran late.”

Cosima takes a breath from Delphine. “Dude, using ‘late’ in your excuse for ‘not being late’ doesn’t quite work.”

Beth glares at Cosima over her shoulder before turning to Alison once again. “I got here for the last of it. I didn’t miss the ribbon cutting. And I won’t miss the christening.”

From the corner of her eye, she sees Cosima stifle a laugh before leading Delphine away and buries the urge to flip her off.

“The… christening,” Alison says, not getting it.

“The christening,” Beth repeats, leading her inside Alison’s new office and it’s only later that Alison understands what Beth means.

 

.,.

 

She’s wedged between a door and Beth, Beth’s hands kneading her breasts through her bra and dragging a moan from her chest that’s almost loud enough Alison’s afraid someone will hear. But there isn’t anyone _to_ hear, at least not in this building. And with Beth’s thigh nudging her knees apart and sliding it’s way up, Alison’s grateful for the freedom to be as vocal as she pleases.

“This skirt,” Beth pants, lips sliding messily against Alison’s cheek as her fingers catch bruises on Alison’s ribs, “has got to go.”

“I distinctly,” Alison tries, the word unfamiliar on her tongue, when Beth’s own tongue is doing things on her neck, “remember… you -- _uh_ \-- liking it.”

Beth’s eyes are up again, hazel meeting hers before Beth kisses her, chastely, and that warmth fills Alison’s chest, like drinking coffee on a cold morning as she drinks Beth in. Beth leaves marks on the corner of her mouth, on her jaw, on her pulse. “Well, yeah,” she breathes against Alison’s veins, making conversation with Alison’s jugular, “but that was before I realized I liked what was under it a lot more.”

She emphasizes her words with a hand on Alison’s ass, squeezing obscenely and Alison gasps, arching into Beth and fisting her fingers in the lapels of Beth’s blazer.

“This is your office,” Beth guesses, vaguely gesturing to the door that is behind Alison and it takes Alison a moment, but she nods.

Beth almost lunges for the doorknob, forgetting that they’re leaning completely against the door itself. They tumble into the room surprisingly, Beth grabbing the door frame and then grabbing Alison, saving them from hitting the floor. The first giggles start deep in Alison’s chest and she leans into Beth, head against Beth’s shoulder and they just laugh, breaking the silence of the dark office.

They sober after a minute, the light from the hallway catching Alison’s smile as she leans in to kiss Beth, lips parting open and tongue tracing Beth’s bottom lip. Beth’s hand come up and frames Alison’s face and she kisses back, surging, backing Alison into the office until the back of her legs hit something.

Beth starts at the buttons of Alison’s shirt then, forehead knocking Alison’s when their lips part. Their breathing grows heavier as they exchange heavy kisses, Beth craving the contact of their bodies until she finally heaves Alison onto the edge of the couch altogether, lifting her onto it. When the buttons are undone, she pulls the shirt from Alison’s skirt, shucking it from her shoulders and onto the floor blindly, running her hands over smooth skin, pressing wet kisses onto Alison’s shoulders and collarbone.

Her hands settle on Alison’s breasts and Alison’s breath hitches; Beth can feel every single inhale and exhale, the hardening of her nipples underneath the padded fabric of the bra and she runs her thumb across them.

Alison lets out a faltered breath just as Beth’s lips find her pulse point, a hand reaching around to unclasp her bra, letting it fall to wayside, slowly, tugging it off her shoulders strap by strap, agonizingly stagnant, while Alison sit still. Her lips find a nipple, hard under her tongue and Alison makes a small sound, and her tongue circles it, before she does the same to the other. She straightens to give Alison one last kiss, hands on her breasts before her nails skitter past her ribs, leaving a red trail in their wake, upset skin.

She tugs the zipper of the skirt down with only slight difficulty, sliding it from Alison’s hips and down her legs. She takes a step back and looks at Alison.

“I love you,” Beth says to Alison, who’s wearing nothing but panties and heels, her legs open and her want so desperately obvious.

Alison, looking at her with wide pupils and a mussed fringe, nods. Beth closes the distance, dropping to her knees, running hands up and down Alison’s thighs, propping one over her shoulder before pulling Alison’s underwear off. She grabs Alison’s hips and balances her on the edge of the couch and kisses the inside of her thigh, teeth catching on the skin there, muscles under her tongue clenching.

“Beth,” Alison whines, fingers weaving into her hair as she attempts to guide her.

Beth concedes and Alison’s head falls back in ecstasy, a moan tumbling out of her mouth as Beth’s tongue works on her clit, delving into wet heat. Her thighs tighten around Beth’s head and she pulls Beth’s hair, attempting to ground herself. A finger joins Beth’s tongue, then two, and she works up to a rhythm, faster, to Alison’s urges until Alison’s tumbling over the edge even faster than she got there with the sound of Beth’s name on her lips.

Almost as soon as it’s over Beth’s standing up and kissing her and Alison’s tasting herself on Beth’s lips, can feel the stickiness of herself on the back of her neck where Beth is grounding her, can feel where Beth is entirely too clothed against Alison’s bare, sensitive, and pounding chest.

“Off,” she mutters, as she’s finding that she becomes incoherent in the throes of passion, pulling at the collared shirt uselessly. Beth steps back, a chuckle falling from her lips and undoes the buttons quickly, sliding it from her shoulders.

Alison hops off the edge of the couch in a shaky movement and takes a step, her heels echoing in the office. Her steps are deliberate and she grabs Beth’s hand when she reaches her, leading her to the other side of the nice, leather couch. Beth attempts to slip out of her slacks one-handedly and does so -- albeit slowly -- just in time for Alison to push down on her shoulders. She sits down, hooking her thumbs in her slacks and pulling them off as Alison steps between her thighs.

“That was quick,” Alison muses, lifting a knee on one side of Beth’s hip, leaning some of her weight onto it experimentally. Beth ghosts a hand on Alison’s bare hip and keeps her eyes on Alison’s face, eyes just barely obscured by messy hair.

“I had some motivation,” Beth whispers, her throat dry.

Alison straddles her hips, sliding a hand between them and finds Beth soaking with want.

“Fuck,” Beth manages, just as Alison’s hips roll forward, and the last consonants are cut off as she gasps, Alison rubbing her clit through her underwear making her breath into the hollow of Alison’s throat.

Alison bites her ear, sliding fingers past Beth’s simple cotton underwear and dipping them dangerously inside, eliciting a moan, a “ _christ_ ”, before she pushes in further, rocking against Beth faster. They shift, Beth’s fingers digging into Alison’s hips until Alison’s pushing on Beth’s shoulder with her free hand and suddenly Beth’s falling back and pulling Alison with her along with a sharp exhale of air.

Their lips crash together and Beth’s fingers bruise her jawline with the way they grasp at her as she climbs toward the edge. Alison tugs her along mercilessly, drawing it out longer than is necessary, before Beth’s hips finally leave the couch, seeking as much of Alison as they can take before she collapses in a heap of heavy breathing and sweat.

Alison kisses her neck and then her lips, dragging sticky fingers along Beth’s stomach. Beth watches her taste them, watches her smile, taking her own lip between her teeth before her eyes drift closed.

“We did it,” Beth says after a moment.

“‘It’ being the colloquial term for intercourse, right?”

Beth nudges her shoulder and Alison laughs breezily. “No, I mean the whole thing. We made it.”

“I meant to ask, but didn’t have time in the midst of my grand opening and your, um, ravishing, but --”

“I _did not_ ravish --”

“You _so did_ , but that’s beside the point. How did court go?”

“Oh,” Beth breathes, wishing that Alison could see the smile on her face. “Guilty as charged. Motherfuckers going down for life.”

Alison sighs and although she doesn’t actually say it, Beth can tell that she wants to. _Elizabeth Childs, language, please_. They’re both silent for a moment, a still lake stretching between the two of them. Alison throws a rock and causes a ripple. “I suppose we did.”

“Hmm?”

“We made it.”

 

.,.

 

****The Night of Graduation****

 

“No, no, no -- _guys!_ I’ve got a job. At the _DA’s office_. D’you know how huge this is for me? Like, straight out of law school? Rachel Duncan would kill for this opportunity… If, y’know, Rachel Duncan wanted to be the District Attorney one day.” Beth reaches for her beer just as Felix sputters out his.

“What, that rigid bitch? No way she’d lift a nail for someone other than herself unless it was for a fat paycheck,” he says, trying to down a good half of the bottle, making up for what he’d lost in his spit take.

“Anyway,” Alison interrupts their tangent, snug in the corner of the booth, where they have a staggering six people crammed into a four-seater, Cal sitting on the far edge in a chair, “we’re here to celebrate Beth’s new job.”

“And the fact that all three of you dumbasses graduated law school,” Sarah adds, looking pointedly at Cosima. “‘Specially when one of ya happens to be one of the biggest potheads I’ve ever seen.” She adds to Delphine, “Please, don’t let ‘er corrupt you.”

“Woah, Sarah, if anyone’s doing the corrupting here, it’s Delphine,” Cosima interjects.

Felix snorts again, losing another half of his beer. He doesn’t even have to say a word.

“Point taken,” Cosima says dejectedly. “But, I’ve got, like, plans. This law office has already offered me a job and they’re super into helping the environment and pro-bono efforts.” She waves her hands through the air, emphasizing her point. “They really like what I stand for, my ideals.”

At that, Sarah grabs the elbow of a waiter and asks for the “hard stuff” because “shite knows I’m gonna need it”. Nevermind the fact they’re in an Applebees.

“Well I’m going to be working in an entry level job at Childs & Childs, thanks to someone,” Alison says, obviously proud of herself.

“We’re proud of you,” Beth tells her.

“Immensely,” Felix agrees. “Mimosas all around.”

“I’ve got an announcement,” Sarah says all of a sudden, sobering up the crowd after everyone’s seemingly finished attempting to give Alison a pat on the back. She leans into Cal, who smiles warmly at them all, the permanent expression on his face. “We’re moving in together. I’m gonna try an’ get my shit together.”

“I’m not!” Felix admits proudly, raising his beer. “But let’s toast to that. Getting our shit together.”

“To us,” Beth adds, raising her water, after deciding she needed to cool it on the alcohol.

Sarah raises an exotic looking drink, something the waiter must’ve brought her. “To finally getting these stuffy lawyers outta law school.”

“To love,” Alison says, adding her own glass of wine.

Felix shakes his head. “Yeah, fuck that.”

Cosima and Delphine’s respective glasses of red wine join the mix. “I’m seconding the love thing,” Cosima says.

Cal raises his lemonade. “Here’s to hoping that in ten years, we’re happy.”

Felix chugs his beer before saying, “I’ll take alcohol over happiness any day.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say, that your comments and kudos are what kept me going. That last month (and a half) that I would think about writing this last chapter, of which I had no idea what to do with, made me incredibly guilty, but all I knew was that I was going to finish it. And that was for me, but also for you. This story was an incredible journey for me, especially in combining narrative and smut (kind of...) and I hope I did it well. (That scene in this chapter... was very fun to write). 
> 
> I am forever grateful for the kind words you guys have given! Thank you so, so much. They mean a whole heck of a lot. I wish you all the best.


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